im a schizophrenic female in my mid 20s. Ive been diagnosed since i was 18 and taking clozapine for that long also. late last year i met a wonderful guy and fell in love. i told him i was sz and he told me his ex was pregnant. a few months later and the baby has been born. I hate it. the fact that he’ll be around visiting his ex and baby drives me crazy. I think im getting unwell again. i cant cope with the fact he has a new baby with another woman and that she is probably still in love with him. i have been drinking heavily to try and drown out these terrible thoughts like wanting the baby and mother to die. what do i do? do i stay with him? my dr says i shouldnt be in this relationship as it is causing me too much stress. advice anyone?
That sounds like a tough situation. I’ve known people who have dealt with same situations without SZ, but with SZ there are delusions that people think things when they may not. It sounds like it’s causing a lot of stress. There are plenty of fish in the sea.
Btw 1990 is the best year ever to be born…Good Job on that.
I think there’s a reason he’s not with the other woman and he is with you instead? isn’t that a good enough reason? If it’s costing your happiness, it’s probably best to let it go. Drinking is not gonna take away the hatred either.
I agree with your doctor. The baby should know its father, and if this leads to you drinking to excess to cope, it’s bad for you, bad for your sz, bad for your boyfriend.
Everyone comes with some baggage, and if your boyfriend’s baggage is too painful for you to cope with, you should move on. Find someone you can be happy with, and let him find somone who will understand and support him in taking care of his responsibilities.
If you think you can accept the baby, work hard towards learning to do that. Otherwise, cut your losses.
I, too, was once love struck but I had to give in to the fact that we were not compatible.
I hate to sound unempathic but I would “abort mission” ASAP. He doesn’t sound like good news, leaving behind the mother of his child. Children should come first, always, and biological parents should always stick together.
sorry folks but i won’t be revising my post. i apologise if it offended anyone but i was just being as honest as i could be. sorry if that’s ruffled any feathers.
thought i would say hi.
it is a difficult situation, i feel for you.
Me to, I was once in love with a woman that was 28 years my elder, and she was married.
It did’nt work out.
Jealousy is bad. From my experience
If you find yourself having to drink to drown out thoughts…it’s prob best to move on. But that’s just my opinion. It sucks I know…but you need be happy in your relationship. If this one aspect is driving you mad…it’s not good! You don’t need stress!
My advice : No drinking! It’s a bad habit and it will cause more problems than you already have.
Your doc MAY be right. Maybe this is a bad time in your life to be in a serious relationship. Because that’s what this is. Being in love is all well and good but if the guy has an ex-girlfriend and a baby that “ups the ante” and makes this a serious, complicated relationship.
Me and you are different people in different situations but I know that being in a serious relationship just two years after I was diagnosed would never have worked. There were plenty of women I liked but I needed to get better first. I needed to get stable.
I know this might be distasteful and controversial to many people here, nothing new, alot of things i say are against the current social norms and morality.
So be tolerant, accept the virtue of patience and tolerance and the simple fact that people have different approaches to life.
I dont want to say that you should be feeling bad in fact my post is trying to make you cope with the issue and improve your view on your relationship. it also isnt an instruction for you to become just a concubine and deal with it.
Why are you so upset with your boyfriend having another woman? do you think that he loves her more than you? i dont think he wouldve left his former partner if this was the case. do you want your boyfriend to be yours only? thats silly anyway. you cant possess him. all that you can get is: spend time with him and experience the emotions of it. remember that people in the past used to have multiple wives and had many children with all the different wives. and thats not even like your sitation where he left his former girlfriend to find you. people used to (some actually still are) have many wives, concubines and tried to love them equally while living in the same house. imagine what they mustve felt. hatred? i dont think so. jelousy? perhaps. but they lived together without much problems and you cant cope with him having an ex girlfriend for crying out loud.
dont take my post too seriously, its just something to ponder.
thanks for your comments and advice guys
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