Its the time of regrets now for me

Ok… Since one year I really fight. I still do very few, but I have a slight progress. But yeap, now I regret all my ‘‘lost’’ years… I lived in hell for years, far from my parents… Ok, maybe I come from a dysfunctional family, maybe I was ill since kid that’s why I didn’t make it, but gosh, its just too many years…17 years… Its too much. That makes from me a sick person yes. Few have chosen the loneliness for so much time. My negatives were tough, yes, so its not really my fault. Now my mom says to me that ill never have a partner in life. Its tough. Plus, I even don’t have my periods because of the meds. What if ill want kids one day? The women out there get crazy if they cant have kids. and me, I have to resign now. Ill have to get better sooner if I want kids. I cant have them now, no, I am still too unhappy. Its not ok to raise kids when you are unhappy like this. I know I shouldn’t waste time in regrets now, but its just now that the meds return me in the reality a bit.
whatever. its another dumb post of mine, but I have interest to get better soon. Cause old is old. I am 36 years old and have nothing in life woah. My body is in very bad state too. Its too much. Gosh, this is kind of a mania too? tbh, I find it to be one, yes. I need calm as says my doc.


hugs))) Anna 1515


there must be something positive in your life.
your conditions don’t allow you to live like others but you can have a happy life in it’s own kind
be grateful to life and life opens new doors to you


Focus on positive things in your life , focus what you can and be greatful for that , everyone wants to be happy …believe you can be happy with step by step progress , it’s all in your mind , start where you are and fix small problem one by one . Stick with your heart


Those 'where should I be by now?'s are killers. Its like you enter your HS gymnasium for your reunion. For you its only been 5 minutes but for everyone else 15 years. They have pictures of their kids and their fancy etched business cards to show. All you have is a cut bracelet signifying you no longer need to be in the mental hospital.

But it is those preconceived notions and expectations that are the real problems. It is not that you don’t have a business card or pictures.

This is what I tell myself all the time btw. It is one of my pep talks:
(I mean this to sound positive. To me it is. But I understand and apologize if it isn’t)

You. Your business cards. Your house. your car. Everything fades away with time. Shakespeare has been around for a real long time but eventually even his beautiful words will fade. ‘To be or not to be’ will stop being.

And so how is this supposed to be positive? It is positive because all that matter is if you found peace and joy in your life. That is what you carry with you no matter what happens next. And five minutes of true peace before you perish at the end is worth it.

So forget where you should be. Forget where you want to be twenty years from now. And just worry about right now, getting better, and doing things that make you feel proud of yourself and like a joyful person who has found peace.

My hope is that if I do that, I won’t feel regret for my life in twenty years because I knew what was important and I tried for it.


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