Having psychosis is so hard when it comes to religion, they seem so incompatible. I’m trying hard in my faith but reading about it triggers me so much. I start thinking I’m wrong about my sza or that I’m not really ill. I don’t know what to do. I want to love God but my sza seems to get in the way. I’m so frustrated. Then I get into denial as well. It’s so scary.
Sorry if I triggered anyone, I just wanted to share how I feel…thanks for reading 
Yes, it is hard. I experience this with my faith. But I think with some soul searching we can accept that both illness and faith are possible together.
I find that I get very delusional and ill if I attend church & small groups during the week.
For me to keep my sanity, I don’t go to church. But I still keep my faith. I just can’t dive in, I can only wade in the shallow end of the pool.
I hope that makes sense. 
I feel like if the deniers of truth are supposed to go to hell, am I a denier of truth because I’m delusional? And go to hell because I’m denying delusions are false?
I stay away from religion as it triggers me but I don’t mind someone telling me they will pray for me.
I’m actually torn. On one hand, I find it offensive and presumptuous, on the other I just have to translate it as “I wish you well”
I think others just mean wishing me well. Its their way and I won’t try to change it.
Yeah I abandoned it. It’s at odds with psychosis. So I just take a very generic view now.
ayyy happy cake day @LilyoftheValley pianogirl
Thanks @POET! 
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