yesterday it hit again, another panic attack for 2 or 3 hours, i thought to myself, i should have known its friday. there is always lots more traffic going by the house on the weekends on the highway, and then the river also sees a lot of pleasure boaters with their music blaring. it’s get kinda noisey here on the weekends.
anyways i did what i usually do, drink lots of water, pee like 8 times, curl up on the couch, close the curtains, and wait, while thinking of every imaginable threat. it’s been like 4 weekends in a row this has happened, yesterday i didn’t drink, smoke and only had one cup of coffee, so really im at a loss for what may have sparked it, usually i look at my consumption habits and blame it on that.
it’s funny i did go outside for a bit when it happened, but had this shite eating grin on my face while being lost in my head, i was worried someone would see me talking to myself, so i went back in and curled up on the couch for a couple hours until it passed. i take a walk probably once a week but only when im normal haha.
I’d recommend upping it to daily. If you’re worried about being seen, go early early early in the morning before most are up. Also, people who are up early generally aren’t sus to cops. They tend to target people who walk late.
you know come to think of it, it’s true it’s like im naturally high, the feeling i had yesterday was much like my stoner paranoia and racing thoughts without the euphoria from the marijuana mixed in. it felt just like having to be responsible while stoned or something, like the time i smoked at work. not pleasant, the good thing is it’s only like this like 3hours a week. on the weekend usually.
