I apologize if this offends, but my reality is not the same as yours. Recently spoke with psychiatrist about how I do not feel I have schizophrenia. He then asked for my father’s phone number. I gave it to him. He refused to increase Abilify from 10mgs to 20mgs. Then said I seem to be doing well and to keep things the same. This contradiction between what he says to me and others is starting to get to me.
So my father says “What are you gonna do, call the SS administration and tell them that you want to re-apply and that your psychiatrist exaggerated everything for you to get benefits?” I say, not exactly sure I want SSI I just want to express it the way I would so people would understand, not have people talk for me who know nothing of my experience of schizophrenia from the inside out. So like, how do I explain how very real schizophrenia is to me, without people exaggerating who think that bureaucrats don’t care either way? Is it better for the psychiatrist to lie about my behaviors and experiences?
Since its them who won’t get me any support other than SSI and I want to work! My dad sold my car but he promised next year he’ll get me a new one. The more I talk to him the more suicidal I feel and he doesn’t live with me, but my mom is now seeing the EXACT same psychiatrist and taking the EXACT same medication as me and my father is head of the board of Eastridge and his co-worker’s father owns it but its a non-profit state run system so tech. a volunteer? I just feel like they’re all playing games with me.