Not a downer thread. This is meant as a support / venting thread.
jesus fried chicken it has been a craptastic head day all day.
( = tomorrow will be better.)
loud, angry voices right in my ear from the moment I opened my eyes.
( = listening to them is not the same as believing them.)
I usually sleep until noon or a bit later, thanks seroquel, but today I was up around 8:15.
( = that’s two days in a row. not bad.)
I really wanted to go back to bed, but I didn’t.
( = stay in the fight.)
I continue to really want to go back to bed. I’m not tired, but my body hurts and I want to be somewhere quiet, dark, and comfortable.
( = your body and your brain both need rest.)
I have been having trouble eating – forgetting meals, “bad smell” or “bad feeling” days, no appetite, appetite unresponsive to food – but I continue to feel very hungry without having the motivation to prepare food or the desire to actually eat anything. The thought of eating makes me nauseous.
( = you’ll eat when you’re hungry.)
I think I have a rash, or some kind of skin mite infestation, because I’m breaking out in itchy red bumps. We might have bedbugs. I dealt with bedbugs while homeless and I am terrified to think I’ll have to go through that again. I am disgusted by my physical self.
( = disgust is a need for comfort in disguise.)
Nothing is comfortable today. My clothes feel itchy, my favorite blanket feels coarse and too warm, my body hurts. I can’t seem to sit or lay comfortably.
( = maybe a shower?)
Because of the voices, I really wish I had my headphones, but I loaned them to a friend a few days ago and he hasn’t returned them yet.
( = what you need will come to you in time.)
I don’t want to be around anyone because I’m afraid I might go off – start believing what’s being yelled in my head and get into an argument or say something I’ll regret – so I’m in my room, tossing and turning, reciting songs and stuff in my head to try and drown out the voices.
Going to try laying down again. I just need some peace and quiet.