Recovering from psychosis that is. It’s quite the process. When I read some of my old posts on here just for a little perspective which I was just doing it jumps out at me that my struggle to define what I went through is apparent in my posts here. I at times describe myself as having been completely convinced of my delusions. And yet in another post I see that I am describing what was rather a struggle between belief and disbelief.
It’s funny as this really is a struggle I am still having…was I entirely convinced? No, but that is the story I developed in dual diagnosis treatment. But then I’m finding myself having to revise a lot of this story of my struggle that I developed in d.d. treatment. I back then had just recently began to return from the abyss and lacked the insight necessary to even see that what it had been was a struggle between belief and disbelieve. Yes I at times was convinced of my delusions but to say that the entire time I was convinced would not be true. It was a struggle between belief and disbelief.
I’m certainly, though not symptomatic, still very much in the process of recovering from my psychosis. Part of this process is for me anyway to rather than try to forget and distance myself from my past, to make sense of it. Not delve back into it in anyway, just make some sense of it as the better I understand what I went through the better off I am and the hope is others as well.
Just a few more thoughts anyway.