It still remains a mystery

why we are symptom free at all

I don’t really consider myself symptom free. There are still some acts in my head circus that like to keep preforming.

But I’ve seen the show before and can ignore it better.

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My pdoc is trying different dosages of medication so I will be symptom free. I have been dealing with the side effects more than the sz.

it certainly is a mystery to me. I was symptomatic for six years straight, all wrapped up in it, then it begins to subside and next thing I know I’m symptom free for well over a year. Then a few months ago the symptoms return for a couple of weeks before completely going away once again and haven’t returned since.

If only I could be anxiety free now, but as this has existed long before the onset of sz and is rooted deep in matters beyond my ability to change I don’t see this happening any time soon.

It remains a mystery to me how I could have survived without pills for five years after three or four years of bad symptoms. I must have been symptom-free, but maybe I had a few unrecognised symptoms still there. Then I relapsed two years ago and haven’t been off meds since. If I even try, my symptoms return. How I coped for five years without meds I don’t know!

I have a lot of different symptoms - I can count on at least one symptom flaring up during the day or night, now it is anxiety and depression that seems to be standing out

I do have suspiciousness and hostility.