It Never Fails

Had a quick brainstorm recently. Thought of compiling a list of everyday annoyances, putting a humorous twist on it, and then publishing a book about it called “It Never fails”


It never fails. You’re late for work and the old lady in front of you at the ATM is taking so long, you swear she’s trying to log on to the internet!

It never fails. You’re late for an appointment and the guy ahead of you at the drive-thru is one of those “Office Heroes”…getting 14 different kinds of coffee for everyone in his Department

It Never Fails. Your peanut butter and jelly sandwich has an 89.6% chance of falling on the kitchen floor face down!

It Never Fails: You’re wife walks in on the last minute of a tie game Superbowl and complains that the dishes need to be done!!

Anyhoo…feel free to add your own as you go about your daily routine! They can be new jokes or used or something you just made up yourself. Even if a book never comes of it, this could turn out to be a fun, interesting thread with some staying power.



Very good creative outlet… good idea to try to put a humorous spin on what annoys you… If I think of anything I’ll post it. Unfortunately my only annoyance is my symptoms which doesn’t really apply to other people.

Not quite the same but 9 things I hate about everyone

  1. People who point at their wrist asking for the time… I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

  2. People who are willing to get off their a** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

  3. When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Damn Right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

  4. When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you’ve found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

  5. When people say while watching a film, “did ya see that?” No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

  6. People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”… Didn’t give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

  7. When something is ‘new and improved’. Which is it? If it’s new, then there has never been anything before it. If it’s an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn’t be new.

  8. When people say “life is short”. What the hell??? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!!! What can you do thats longer?

  9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?” If the bus came, would I be standing here???


lol that’s funny.

I’m able to laugh at myself now. More than I used to be. It’s gotten WAY better.

I always tell people, “I’m schizophrenic. And so am I”


Funny shtuff!

It never fails. You always go on the Net with the best of intentions…to pay a bill or just get some information. But 20 minutes later you end up on “”…right when your wife walks in the room!! lol!

This is a humorous true story, so I’ll post it on this thread…

When I was an out patient and doing better, I actually bumped into my psychiatrist at the local Drugstore. He was holding a book so I said “Hi!”…and then after a bit of chit-chat i said, “What are you reading?” He got kind of sheepish and embarrassed for a second and then said, “It’s a book about a patient who is stalking and wants to kill his psychiatrist.” So i said…

“Hey,man. Relax. I’m just here buying some milk!” lol!

…crazy but absolutely true story.



It never fails-

Went for a haircut for a job interview yesterday, but my regular barber was on holidays. Went to First Choice Haircutters instead…

NOW I look like Chucky!! fcs!! That evil child doll from that horror movie!


It never fails-

I swore off of this site months ago. It’s true. I went out with a bang! A brass band was playing while So It Goes carried me away on his shoulders! lol!

But it never fails, I’m back! This site is like the line from Hotel California…

“You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave”

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It never fails…

My once a year Safety Deposit Box fee went through the Bank and bounced my car insurance payment. I have to pay a NSF fee to the Bank and there’s a strike against my driving record.


It never fails…

After a hard day’s work, I bought a six pack to kick back and watch the Toronto Raptors tonight. But my brother’s car died in the middle of nowhere and he wants me to pick him up.