Some people never do it. Others have done it repeatedly in the past.
Was talking with a “friend.” He slips in a…
“You’re pretty gay… Just saying”
This was a couple days ago and it just sits in my mind. Stirs up all kind of irrational ■■■■■■■■. I do think it says more about him then it does about me.
Being called gay has made me totally insecure in social situations. Not just this occurrence but a long history of it.
I can find men attractive, but to actually have sex with them. No. I don’t think I’ll ever swing that way.
Still though there is something about my appearance or character that triggers people. After years of being paranoid about it and trying to change myself I’ve realized that I don’t even understand why. Let alone what to change.
It’s one thing if you think a label fits and your proud of it. If you determine it for yourself.
It’s totally different though to run around judging people by our cultures absolutist paradigms.
Unfortunately I’d have to cut off half of my friends network to quit seeing this dude. But really he can ■■■■ off, I think it’s worth it. I’ve spent enough years spinning around in this endless ■■■■■■■■ to have some dude wake it up every month or so.
I ■■■■■■■ hate the labels.
It’ll take me a week before I’ll stop thinking about this.
It’s just that though we guys go through reviewing just what a “man” is all the time. It’s part of your normal growth. It does come out during psychosis as well usually about ten fold.
And Shhh ladies this is secret men’s business. You didn’t hear it from me, ok!?!
It is all about gender roles and norms we are pushed into. We are tought to fit into these roles. Thats how our brain works i guess. It is hard to think outside the box.
i know what you mean, i was at a family b/day party of my aunts side and i heard someone say ‘he’s a pure creep’ as i walked past
it is hurtful and i keep trying to tell myself it wasnt me it was aimed at and i tell myself ‘just ignore it bc it’ll get you down’ still sticks in my head though,
but then i think if that actually knew me they wouldn’t be saying that, they might actually like me instead of all that other bull you know, its really fkn petty and immature saying ■■■■ like that and the people that say those things need to grow up,
same with stigma and all that sh it they all need to grow up and shut up, assholes lol
I’ve always moved further forward with meds and therapy combined. Kind of stuck when I felt it was time to move onto the next therapist. I’ve had problems finding the right one the last few years. Which was also the time I needed one the most.
Think about therapy. It did take me a long time to commit to it. But my one of my regrets now is I didn’t start a lot sooner.
I’ve always interacted well with women. It might take me a while before I get comfortable but once it hits a certain point I have had excellent relationships.
There is no answer or end to this situation.
I have to learn to just accept that’s the way it is with some people.
Yeah man. People are ■■■■■■■ assholes. They know they are too, they do it anyway. Probably because they’ve been treated that way and they just reciprocate to feel normal.
Makes me want to just stay in, but that just leaves me feeling bitter about how the sociosphere had treated me and how my brain responded to it.
I hope thing are feeling better for you now. I know it’s hard when something like that wants to spin around your head again and again.
But your right when you have to not bend to the labels of others. I hope you find some peace and security and not let this guy unravel all your hard work.
My psychosis is centered around this ■■■■. It’s been a while since it’s really affected me. Most people have been respectful. It just got under my skin. Did the only thing I know to do which is come here to vent.
Thanks for the feed back.
It’s not really bothering me today. It just brought up all the frustration I used to feel about people and this culture. It’s a facet of stigma. The minds who keep that ■■■■ sustained, just piss me off.
I can imagine how I want my mind/thoughts to be. It gets easier with time, but that was a set back of sorts. Triggered by someone else’s subtle douche baggary.
It’s not like I want to reciprocate his behavior. Just gotta leave it alone.
Those are the kind of people that think all this ■■■■ is my fault.
When I was in college; I set up a theoretical experiment examining the effect of labels. Since it was, the groups I set to compare were “normie” college students. I got an A and the TA asked if I would consider grad school. As a person already afflicted, I ran and far away in my mind that is. Due to my illness, I have never gone beyond a BA. I have always got scared and ran away. However, the horrible fact of “labels” concerned even back in college. I believe even in high school Not only were the teachers, principals, and fellow classmates offenders; but, also my parents and other family members. The tragedy for me today the circle has widened to medical people, religious people, political people, even the media. It seems that anyone who has an opinion which is everyone has a label for someone. The problem with these labels is they do not address the goodness, diversity, and uniqueness of humans; but, they derogatory, inflammatory, and denigrate. These labels hurt and can make you sicker than you ever thought. Sometimes, this labeling incites people to kill.
I feel you man I hear people say labels all the time I just say gay ain’t an insult because I’m confortable with my sexuality. It shouldn’t be an insult in the first place people are creul.
If I were a homosexual I think Itd be different. Seeing as how I’m not it just shows that they are judging my character. I can’t empathize with people any more. They’ve alienated me. I thought about all the possibilities. The only option is to avoid and ignore. When it starts I can only imagine I have this look of depressed doubt on my face instead of a confident and engaged mentality.
My brother and cousin have dealt with this side of the culture before, at least it taught them to have respect. Other than that no one talks about it. And those two don’t talk about it any more.
Wish I had a different set of real life friends. A diverse group. This town has a reputation for being cultured. After 5 years I just don’t see it. People just do a lot of drugs.