It feels so wrong to feel so relieved... WA, ITA

The ITA isn’t on me this time. In Washington State it’s called the Involuntary Treatment Act… Poor parents, it seems like it’s just one son after another. It’s sad that they have the number on speed dial.

My youngest brother has been out of sight and out of mind for over a week now. I’ve been savoring how wonderful it’s been to be out of the loop. But I knew that loop would find us.

Yesterday was St. Patrick’s Day and the youngest brother decided to honor the Irish blood in our family by not just having a small tumble off the sobriety wagon, but throwing himself under the wheels of the wagon.

The lad got more then blindingly drunk. (There is more then just alcohol to this). Drove our kid sisters car over to our parents house, and drove it into the back yard without opening the gates and then proceeded to trash my kid sisters car… again. Leaving bits of it all across our parents property. He then stood in our parents back yard and threatened to commit suicide. He also threatened to kill his ex-girl friend, (she’s well out of this state now so she’s safe) and I guess around 2:00 a.m. tried to set fire to our parent’s garage. Then I’m told he just let go of all sense of lucid self and had one heart breaking melt down in our parents back yard and did manage to gash himself open enough to need stitches.

My Mom called the King County Crisis and Commitment Services when all this first started amping up, and they came with their trained back up and my youngest brother has been involuntarily committed. He got taken to Harbor View Medical where I’m sure his stomach was pumped… because that is what they do. I’m sure he’s sedated and then will be stabilized because that is what they do. Then it will be suicide watch and then assessment because that is what they do.

I haven’t gone and seen him yet. He’ll be out cold right now anyway. I hate to admit this… but I went back to bed after my kid sis got the phone call. I managed to calm her down and convince her to go back to bed too. My parents are heartbroken I’m sure. The cycle begins again. I will be going over later today to see how they are. But I’m not that worried about him for some reason.

I am just so relieved that he’s finally forced into getting some help. It’s not that I don’t feel for him. I don’t want any one to suffer. It’s just, I’ve been there, step by step, I know exactly what part of Harbor View he’s in and I bet I even know which head nurse is looking after him.

For some reason, I’m fine with it. I bet some of my family is more then surprised that I can get news like this and just go back to bed. I do feel a like a bad person for being so Ok with this. But I can not help it… Today is a sigh of relief. No more morning letters, no more bullying, no more looking out for the worst. No more waiting for the shoe to drop. It’s dropped and now the healing can begin. I know exactly what part of the Candyland game board he’s on… it’s not the candy cane forest.

But for me, it’s a good day. He didn’t hurt anyone driving around drunk… amazing. He didn’t physically hurt our parents or anyone around him. He didn’t get shot by police. Hopefully my youngest brother will have an easier time due to the fact that my parents have seen this all before.

I do feel like a bad person for feeling so relieved. :confused:


I’m glad he is in a safe place. It is a confused feeling of relief. I can honestly say I was relieved when my son was admitted. I couldn’t help him or keep him from getting worse. I could let me guard down for a bit and breath. Don’t feel bad for what you are feeling. I would say it’s normal. Have you asked your parents if they are feeling this too? If they are it might help you to put these feelings into perspective.

Sounds like it was quit a night… Hope your parents are holding up. Send them some love :hearts:


Thank you for that, a lot. It really does help. It is confusing. I do feel bad for feeling so relieved. But I really can’t help it. I am so relived. :relieved:

I feel bad for saying it… it was quite a night for them… however, I slept very well. :sun_with_face:

He was taken to Harbor View by the crisis team and not the police. My parents didn’t know about the King County crisis team the first time I lost all sense of lucid… and I was taken in by police. I was in full restraints. I’m told John wasn’t. They calmed him enough to get him in the ambulance and had someone from the crisis team ride with him. No restraints, no taser, no yelling… lucky duck.

I did just give the parents a call. Mom is “in the zone”. She’s moving mountains and getting things done with the speed of a cobra right now.

Then when Mom is exhausted, Dad will pick up the slack and offer the cool calm advice. They really are an amazing team. Mom’s not talking about her feelings, she’s mobilizing the attack. Dad is on kid sister stand by. Because the kid sis isn’t going to stay cool about this for long.


Hi James, you should not feel bad at all for being relieved. You and your sister have been through so much with him – it’s a huge constant stress to have something like that going on. You know your parents are handling in their usual efficient manner and you also know that he is going to be where he needs to be. So yes, that would be a HUGE relief to know he will finally be getting the help he needs. You can rest easy now, at least for a while. I know your parents have to be going through hell, and knowing you how I think I do, you will be of great support to them.

When we were about 1-1/2 yrs into son’s breaks, hospital stays, drug use, and jail, things finally hit the fan. We told him we would bail him out of jail on one condition – that he go to a dual diagnosis center, and he agreed. We bailed him out on a Thursday and I drove him across town to the dual diagnosis ctr the following Sunday. I will never forget the sense of relief husband and I felt. When I got home from the center we cracked open a bottle of B&B, sat in front of the fireplace and just reflected and relaxed for several hours. It was much needed.

So no, don’t feel bad for one minute. :relieved:


Yes you and your sister have been through a lot. At least for now you guys can rest a bit, knowing he is in a safe environment getting help. Cherish the tranquility while it lasts - hopefully the relief you are feeling will be permanent


Wow j! That is quite the tale, and alot to have to put up with, you must be one of those strong people i hear so much about.

Whats there to say but i hope things get better soon?.

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Thanks for that. I’m still sort of unfazed. It’s my parents place and my kid sisters car that is a mess. I still feel sort of relieved and neutral. Plus… he’s been a train wreck in the making for many months now. The crash just finally happened. It’s also sad to say… this isn’t out of the blue.

I have a feeling it’s one of those things that will hit me in two days. I know I have a two day delay on emotions. In two days from now, I might be a mess.

My parents are the strong ones. I just got the news, nodded. Convinced my kid sis, there is nothing for her to do and went back to bed. Bad news or good news too takes a bit to sink in for me. So in two days, I’ll see how well I’m doing.

Dont feel like a bad person. He’s not right in the head. That’s not your fault.

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I would be willing to bet your little brother is the most relieved.

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Don’t be sad. Be happy! Ok, maybe look sad, but don’t be sad. You know Harbor View so you know how he will be treated. You know they can help him, heck they might even be able to save him and it sounds like he needs saving. I think the relief you feel is knowing that he is going somewhere where he can’t hurt himself or others. Somewhere to recuperate. Healing is painful, but this forced hospitalization might be the start of a new happier life for him. Isn’t that a good thing?


when i win lotto one day i am going to send your mum and dad on a beautiful holiday, they are amazing parents.
glad you kept cool…well done.
sorry about your sisters car…but this is a good outcome like you said…no one was hurt… now the healing can begin.
take care
p.s. i just got paranoid, …mmmmm…i am not stalking your parents nor do i know where they live, just clarifying that !

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They took a blood test… My youngest brother had more drugs in him then a RiteAid. My parent’s were a bit surprised because they said they haven’t found any drugs in the trailer that he’s living in.

Well no… he probably took them the moment he got them.

My youngest brother has been following my path step by step. I hope that because I went through what I did, he’ll clean it up before he hits bottom and ends up homeless.

I’m still relieved.

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Suicide watch and assessment is over, my youngest brother has been admitted to Harbor View Psych and they have a drug detox and rehab on site. So he’s definitely on my path. We just don’t know what the diagnosis is yet.

He’s not up for visitors and I’m really proud of the kid sis for standing strong and not arguing when she was told it wouldn’t be a good idea to try and see him yet. She nodded and was OK with it.

I’m glad his is finally getting to the bottom of this… I’m still sad he’s following my path. Oh well, such is life eh?

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