I have been having my perception of reality be a bit off, it has been this way for a good month but if I could remember better I would be able to say this isn’t exactly new but has been going on for half a year or more.
I am sometimes on autopilot, doing things with little awareness of what I am doing at the time I am doing it but then my memory kinda connects me to what I am doing and I can 'come to ’ and be in the moment.
The thing is I feel different about every day, my awareness of individual moments is very variable, sometimes I am stuck more in my head and I tune out the world but other times I have a hard time having my thoughts connected to current reality.
I can’t explain this very well but if anyone knows at all what I am trying to say - feel free to shed some light on what this is.
I just googled and used Merriam webster dictionnary and it says they can also be symptoms of sz because sz diconnects you and your personality from reality, ex: You think you’re god and that the world is fake. This happened to me when unmedicated.
Yeah I think @Aziz was right in suggesting derealization and depersonalization, it is hard to describe how it feels though, I am finding some sites online that describe depersonalization being a possible symptom of schizophrenia: https://www.schizlife.com/schizophrenia-and-derealization/
The thing I find the most difficult part of it to deal with is how my perception of the external world differs daily and usually differs multiple times a day. For example, I woke up and besides being a little tired I felt fairly normal and this continued for an hour and a half, after that I started to feel more disconnected and found it harder to focus.
I know the way I feel isn’t normal and I am still aware of some of the ways things are different but I just kinda cycle in to different phases with some of the phases having me more aware of what is going on around me and me interacting more with the world. My mom has noticed differences in how I am sometimes more engaged and other times I am less responsive to stimuli.
“Derealization (subjective experience of unreality of the surrounding world) and depersonalization (feeling detached from one’s mental or bodily processes)”
The above words can be applied to how I feel, I feel like something is wrong with my interpretation of reality, this would be the derealization (although I remain grounded most of the time, I just find some parts of reality hard to integrate with)
The depersonalization part I feel only disconnected from my mind, mostly this is a rift between thoughts and actions.
From what I read, there is alot of overlapping symptoms between dissociative, depersonalization, derealization and schizophrenia.