Isolation (tw)

I’m not happy with myself, nor am I happy with what’s going around the world.

I’m pretty sure that by the time I finish my studies at this university, all of my friends would move on and I would have no one to talk to, even on the internet. And even if I make friends, they would all leave me when they find out that I have psychosis. This is why I don’t try to socialize- it’s just not going to work. Socializing is pointless.

In the end, it’s not like anyone is going to care.

I knew that my life would be miserable. It was already miserable ever since I was born.

Please don’t tell me that things are going to be better soon. It has never been better for the past 7 years.

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I feel the same way a lot.

I’m sorry that you feel the same way. You shouldn’t feel that way- you are loved.

On the other hand, I should have never been born. My life is a mistake.

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Things can get better but it’s up to you.

It won’t come from the outside. Happiness won’t come knocking on your door, you have to plant a seed of optimism in your heart and let it grow.

Like for example you assume nobody wants anything to do with you because you have a mental illness. Not true. But you got to treat friendship like a need to know basis thing.

When I meet new people I never tell them about my disease unless it serves a purpose. And people I have got to know well haven’t left me when I revealed my issue.

There is a old saying that says “the pessimist might be right in the end, but the optimist has a much better journey along the way.”

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I want to change, but the society isn’t going to change itself.

I’m worried about people finding out. I don’t want to tell anyone that I have psychosis. But what if I have symptoms or have to go to the hospital? I will be a huge embarrassment.

I wish I can be happy, but that’s not what the society thinks of me. I get reminded by my doctor and everyone that I have a mental illness, and I just want to hide in a hole and die or something.

@laetitia , you should hold your head high, be optimistic, persevere and keep fighting.
I support you fully and wish you luck.

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