Is this obsessive?

I have this pen pal from Taiwan she messages me on Instagram each day and we usually talk for an hour. I think it’s too obsessive. I want to know what everyone else thinks.

An hour is a long time to talk to someone without being in person,

When you talk online its like everything is condensed.

So, I would stay that’s pretty intense.

Is it romantic,

If it is, or if it has potential to be, I’d say that makes more sense…

1 Like

I know I think she’s in love with me sometimes.

There are so many variables here it’s hard to give an answer. If you are talking like you are going to fly out there and spend the rest of your days madly in love without ever having met face to face, that’s kind of obsessive. If you are friends chatting. Nothing strange about that . Very nice and healthy

1 Like

It’s her that chats with me.

In that case,

It adds up.

When you have a crush on someone its always kind of obsessive,

Even for totally sane people.

Does she make you feel uncomfortable?

The way you worded it made it seem like you’re not sure about her advances…

As long as she knows where you stand and you are up front. I have lots of friends who chat with each other for hours

Sometimes she says stuff like I wish you were there in front of me and (shit) like that.

Maybe I’m overreacting I don’t know.

Does that bother you or do you have feelings for her?

No one feels indifferently about someone they spend an hour chatting with everyday.

Spill the beans, homie…

I have no feeling towards her I just don’t want to be rude and not talk to her.

If that’s the only reason you are talking to her maybe you need to think about how to kindly stop it from happening


That changes things.

Yes, she is obsessing over you,

No, you should not be enabling that.

Start telling her you can only talk for a few minutes, and try to distance yourself.

Its not rude.

Giving her this much attention is leading her on.


@anon54386108 and @Afraid. I know it’s what i should do but I’m soft and don’t want to hurt her feelings.

Its not going to be easy,

But you have to start scaling this thing back.

Are you talking on the phone or online?

Its on instagram

I will tell you what I wish someone told me


1 Like

Hell, friends are hard to find; you should be talking to her every day for two hours in the morning, two hours every night and on weekends 5 hours extra in the afternoon.

1 Like


I had to cook dinner and stuff…

Definitely start making yourself less available.

Tell her you’re busy but make a little time for her.

Its online, so its easier, you can just message her for like 10 minutes,

Then say you have to go.

Its difficult, but you really are helping her.


I agree that you should not be leading her on if you are not interested.

What is polite to you she may interpret as though you are interested as well…

Are you single?

If you do not want to chat with her you can delete her as s contact and explain that you are not interested.

I agree having friends you chat with can be very nice but if she is romantically interested and you are not then you should perhaps break contact with her.

I know it can be difficult.
I had such a thing about being polite too.

Even if you tell her you are not interested if you keep chatting with her she will keep hoping you will be hers perhaps and it may waist your time and her time.