19.Having been like this for years.Recent formal diagnosis though. I still talk and understand mostly good even its taking forever to clear through my head of what to type. It wasnt always like this. As a dumb kid Hard drugs made things worse. Ether burned my soul And now Im stuck. I still do work working on cars but I dont have to talk to people because Im in the garage alone having to only talk to my supervisor a couple few times. and because of this I can live by myself without help for now. Not scared but sad. I can talk to the things that speak to me and we generally dont have problems. Its mainly that I know the meaning of what I want to say and want others to hear but I cant say it or organize how. One day ill be not able to communicate. But im only 19. It gets no better and I can feel the house thats me being divided against itself and breaking. I remember growing up a kid and not having this. When everything still worked like they were supposed to. Im always making less sense to myself even as this gets worse and one day I will be gone and a disabled psychotic shell will be all thats left.
murderer
There is no hope here. This will be how I end.