Is there a part of you that doesn't want to be cured?

I think a part of me doesn’t want to be cured, maybe I’m intrinsically lazy and this illness is my mind’s way of creating a way for me to be doing the least in life that I can.

3 Likes

I used to think I had magical powers that would be taken away.
But it wasn’t worth the torture.
Stay well all.

2 Likes

It’s getting late in the day for me but I’d like to compete with people on an even level. That means a decent job/career with the freedom that such pertains. I don’t find anything redeemable about my symtpoms and find that it’s a hard life to lead when your different.

3 Likes

There is a part of me that wants to remain isolated, even though sometimes I enjoy conversation with others. There are some symptoms that I have that I desperately want to be rid of.

1 Like

yes I like to be isolated from the world because people are **.

1 Like

Yes I often enjoy the grandiosity and mania. Plus I like taking my meds in the morning. It makes me feel like I’m making progress. If I was just cured, what now? I wouldn’t mind being a therapist that’s the biggest advantage of if I were cured. I could easily do that. I’d rather my ptsd be cured than sz cuz sz has better meds for it. Ptsd seems hard to treat.

1 Like

I don’t really want to be cured most of my life people have been trying to “fix” me. Tbh I just want to be able to manage my symptoms and live a good life. Also I feel like I’d lose so much of my identity if I suddenly didn’t have my sza. I’m scared I’d lose all the magic in my world and just become deeply depressed more so than I am already and idk if I’d survive.

Don’t think that, motivation comes a ton easier when u dont have sz, u r prolly just used to forced laziness u forgot what normals like.

To answer ur question: partly yes. I dont even want to be like ppl here who still watch tv but isolate. I like having anhedonia so severe that when i isolate i lay in bed doing nothing. It is very enlightening. I cherish the time i spend expanding my mind by not using it. Definetly this isnt a sustinable or comfortable way of life, but i really think it expands ur mind to a level normies will never accomplish.

I think a lot of ppl are ignorant cuz they dont know what it means to suffer. I wouldnt wanna be anyone but me.

3 Likes

Unfortunately for me I think my mind is too expanded. Or corrupted more like it.

1 Like

I sometimes think I would be homeless without the income the illness brings me. I don’t think I would be very successful anyway because I lack intelligence so I would either live a very unfulfilled life or have a very minor job working 60 hour weeks for little pay.

Sometimes i wonder too if theres a limit.

Probably ur mind is more ‘tainted’ not “corrupted”

1 Like

Something of the sort.

To younger posters like you @catsrcool I probably sound like a broken record when I say “WHEN I WAS YOUNGER ______” but seriously, when I was younger and psychosis hit me my mind expanded in such a way the world was so new and nothing made sense. Then with the help of mostly meds, but also just integrating my experiences and coming full circle I feel I have a “higher mind” than the normies. Youll get there @catsrcool youre smart.

2 Likes

I’ve had to come to terms with losing contact with my voices and it’s not easy. Everyday I ask myself if I should take my ap and everyday I say yes because I want to be responsible for my wife and the baby on the way.

It does get quite lonely without them and I was very attached. I still say good night to them and they say good night back but I haven’t been having easy conversations with them lately. Its definately hard I miss them so much

1 Like

I believe that even if we will be lucky enough to have a cure sometime soon, we will still live with the damage that has been done by the illness.
I guess that there will always be a part of us that won’t get fully cured.

2 Likes

Yes Ive always thought this. We should hope for earlier intervention treatments in the future for our children and their children rather than expecting to be 100% functional again. Gotta play with the cards weve been given. I know this is an unpopular opinion to many but its mine.

Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one?

2 Likes

No part of me. Want so badly to be cured, mind, body, and soul.

1 Like

Well my positives have barely improved at all over about 23 years. So I don’t see a cure for me in my lifetime.

Yeah, my left knee.

1 Like