I think a part of me doesn’t want to be cured, maybe I’m intrinsically lazy and this illness is my mind’s way of creating a way for me to be doing the least in life that I can.
I used to think I had magical powers that would be taken away.
But it wasn’t worth the torture.
Stay well all.
It’s getting late in the day for me but I’d like to compete with people on an even level. That means a decent job/career with the freedom that such pertains. I don’t find anything redeemable about my symtpoms and find that it’s a hard life to lead when your different.
There is a part of me that wants to remain isolated, even though sometimes I enjoy conversation with others. There are some symptoms that I have that I desperately want to be rid of.
yes I like to be isolated from the world because people are **.
Yes I often enjoy the grandiosity and mania. Plus I like taking my meds in the morning. It makes me feel like I’m making progress. If I was just cured, what now? I wouldn’t mind being a therapist that’s the biggest advantage of if I were cured. I could easily do that. I’d rather my ptsd be cured than sz cuz sz has better meds for it. Ptsd seems hard to treat.
I don’t really want to be cured most of my life people have been trying to “fix” me. Tbh I just want to be able to manage my symptoms and live a good life. Also I feel like I’d lose so much of my identity if I suddenly didn’t have my sza. I’m scared I’d lose all the magic in my world and just become deeply depressed more so than I am already and idk if I’d survive.
Don’t think that, motivation comes a ton easier when u dont have sz, u r prolly just used to forced laziness u forgot what normals like.
To answer ur question: partly yes. I dont even want to be like ppl here who still watch tv but isolate. I like having anhedonia so severe that when i isolate i lay in bed doing nothing. It is very enlightening. I cherish the time i spend expanding my mind by not using it. Definetly this isnt a sustinable or comfortable way of life, but i really think it expands ur mind to a level normies will never accomplish.
I think a lot of ppl are ignorant cuz they dont know what it means to suffer. I wouldnt wanna be anyone but me.
Unfortunately for me I think my mind is too expanded. Or corrupted more like it.
I sometimes think I would be homeless without the income the illness brings me. I don’t think I would be very successful anyway because I lack intelligence so I would either live a very unfulfilled life or have a very minor job working 60 hour weeks for little pay.
Sometimes i wonder too if theres a limit.
Probably ur mind is more ‘tainted’ not “corrupted”
Something of the sort.
To younger posters like you @catsrcool I probably sound like a broken record when I say “WHEN I WAS YOUNGER ______” but seriously, when I was younger and psychosis hit me my mind expanded in such a way the world was so new and nothing made sense. Then with the help of mostly meds, but also just integrating my experiences and coming full circle I feel I have a “higher mind” than the normies. Youll get there @catsrcool youre smart.
I’ve had to come to terms with losing contact with my voices and it’s not easy. Everyday I ask myself if I should take my ap and everyday I say yes because I want to be responsible for my wife and the baby on the way.
It does get quite lonely without them and I was very attached. I still say good night to them and they say good night back but I haven’t been having easy conversations with them lately. Its definately hard I miss them so much
I believe that even if we will be lucky enough to have a cure sometime soon, we will still live with the damage that has been done by the illness.
I guess that there will always be a part of us that won’t get fully cured.
Yes Ive always thought this. We should hope for earlier intervention treatments in the future for our children and their children rather than expecting to be 100% functional again. Gotta play with the cards weve been given. I know this is an unpopular opinion to many but its mine.
Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one?
No part of me. Want so badly to be cured, mind, body, and soul.
Well my positives have barely improved at all over about 23 years. So I don’t see a cure for me in my lifetime.
Yeah, my left knee.