Just wondering if it will ever stop and go away. So I can live a normal life again and clean house and paint and write. Or am I doomed forever to experience this fog?
For me, avolition got much better
Lately if I get started on something interesting I can stay with it for an hour or so.
My psychiatrist told me that its permanent and that there is no meds for it.
I sort of improved my lack of insight and lack of pleasure. I experience more pleasure now than ever. I improved a lot of things over the years like DP/DR and solipsism to some extent where it doesn’t bother me anymore.
The only thing I cannot get over is the lack of motivation thing. I can do stuff but it’s not like I’m superman anymore. I am 100x slower doing things and sometimes put things off for months. I don’t know if I’ll ever get a job and recover.
I’m looking into a BS in cyber security and hopefully could make $70-80k working at a small company perhaps even AT&T or something, although I doubt it given my current trajectory and symptoms. I talked to my family about it and I need to show them I can take care of myself including hygiene, keeping my room clean, driving, and perhaps volunteering or working a part time job making minimum wage at a place like mcdonalds.
I sometimes am grandoise and delusional in what I can do with my life. I would like to get the degree online some day. I don’t think the medical field is for me. I’m limited in what I can do with my life. I still have anxiety, stress, and some sadness and paranoia. I feel like tearing up or crying sometimes internally, but have no actual tears left.