Is my worrying a symptom?

Ok, you dont know me here per distance but often in the evenings i worry till madness that ill never get better…do i have objective reasons about it or its a symptom? I worry so much that i cant get up from the bed, it paralyzes me… on the other hand, my situation is not pink - i have no job, no friends, a mom who believes in my recovery, 16 years behind me of social isolation and poor motivation cause im tired fighting… but maybe, at the end, i am an hypocondriaque too? Maybe its a part of our illness, to be scared till death from the future? I work on this but for those who know me better here, do you find my worries symptomatic? :grinning:
The news is that my doc upped my zyprexa on 10 mg,ill try to eat healthy but sometimes i eat in order to fullfill my emptiness inside :smirk:

You sound like someone who at least needs more social interaction. I don’t how large your community where you live is, but if it’s large enough, there are different outlets to get involved with and take part.

Tbh i gave up the fight with the people. I look for some other help than community. I was badly unhappy even when i was socialized in school. Do you understand that i am tired of socializing??? I am fed up of seeing ill people, most of my friends are ill and its tough to communicate with them. I just want to be stronger, i want to feel some pleasure from the socializing… maybe i sound mean now but its precisely the people who hurted me, i am tired of this…maybe some activity till i get stronger :smirk:…i am tired of all sorts of community, i did a daily hospital in the past and i acted crazily…

I see 151515 …

Yeah, i guess that i am in a bad shape. But i gave 8 of my years to the psychiatry, i am too dumb… wtv… but i am destroyed, i start to think that my parents destroyed me, i am not a human anymore, its not human what i lived with this illness :disappointed_relieved:. Sorry that i am hard, yeap, i had one bf from the hospital once and he treated me badly…

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Pfff, i am pathetic… Sorry people,wtv… thats what happens when meds dont work. My brain is a mess, i even feel it in my head. I have this physical sensation which drives me mad. Thats why i am bad now, sorry for that. Ill up my zyprexa to see if it helps, maybe ill start to love the people again :smile:

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I understand the need to stray away from the illness.
After you process the Dx for a few years, it eventually suffocates you to think about it every minute.
Worrying in small amounts is good, it can help prepare you for the future, but if it’s all you do, then at least do a little bit of constructive worrying too, or you will burn yourself out and be left with not even the energy to worry.

Yeap csummers, in the past i was a bit too zen, too calm. I guess my emotions were dead, i was closed for everything. I was in really bad shape when i landed in psychiatry. I wonder still how somebody can get till such a state :smirk:… the need to be around others now is dead still too cause i get irritable, angry or jealous or paranoid thats all.

People are imperfect that’s for sure.
Kinda what makes them unique and interesting tho.

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I just want to be free of the feeling to feel my brain in the head gosh… maybe there are other ways to get rid from this but my mother doesnt believe in therapy for me yeah… its too painful you see, i dont think normally hecause of it…