Is my husband being selfish?

he wants to use the spare room as a man-cave

make the driveway better for his 2 cars, one on the drive one in the garage

also wants to go on holiday by himself in winter

is this a bit much? given that i have more money than he does/

what should my demands be? i don’t know any more


the red flag is the winter holiday by himself…that makes me think somethings up…not to scare you but this doesn’t seem right.


not at all i dont’ know how to say this
he’s a train spotter
going with colleagues

I don’t know much about marriage, but from what I do know it shouldn’t be about who has more money or making demands to compete with their demands.

It does seem a tad bit selfish to make the demands that he has, but maybe there is a way to meet him halfway?

From everything I have learned and seen from my parents and the expert on everything, a.k.a google, compromise is the best solution. Depending on the context of what the holiday is, I dont think it would be a problem. How much do you trust him? I mean a week going camping with some friends is different than going to Florida for spring break.

Alone time is healthy, but you deserve to go on a holiday by yourself or with some friends as well.


yes , thanks
I understand your drift

I’d be losing a bedroom which i can retreat to
this also seems important in later marriage when we get there
i guess once we finish the model railway he’s planning it can go back to a bedroom

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I edited my post because I wanted to clarify I wasnt calling you selfish, I meant his demands do seem a tad bit selfish.

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also i trust him absolutely… and he is generous really it’s just i think we are talking about a hell of a lot of money on personal pursuits

anyway - yes - other thing is he’s prob getting a better paid job,
so makes sense for him to want to spend

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no i wasn’t calling this selfish of me

i just meant i don’t know - what i’d be losing

sorry to go on and on…
I know he cares like mad for me

my mums fear is that he is squeezing all the space he can out of this place
model railway in a room where i could have sanctuary
garage taken over by his spare car,
driveway improvements
his desk in the sitting room
there isn’t the space

maybe he can have a laptop and I take the space up with a daybed thing

I know this is unanswerable without seeing the place

he also wants a 3rd car.

i figured out what to do about the 2nd bedroom if i want space
just sleep on the couch!

I thought you were more like roommates anyways? From what you described in the past didnt sound like a real relationship.

Can u join him for the winter holiday…

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I would give him his man cave but not his winter holiday. And a 3rd car? Is he going thru a midlife crisis? I think he might be cheating on you.

The holiday by himself sounds suspicious

Sure he is

My mother in law is the one without comprises. Whatever she wants done it gets done and she throws tantrums when she gets proven wrong

My partner and I know there are times when you just need to be selfish but not without discussing it


Man cave good. Woman need woman cave, too. Would be nice if you could share a cave.

I go on separate photo outings from my wife, but we’re talking a day, not a week. I don’t like being apart from her for that long for one thing.

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What the hell do you know?