Is living really better?

If your not there, you can’t answer any of their questions.
Kids NEED a mom (just not an abusive one)

The simple fact that you think your less than an ideal parent for your kids makes me believe you ARE indeed a good parent,
because rotten parents rarely question their parenting skills, they justify them instead without ever considering their kids feelings.

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I understand. It’s just that you have picked up some things that you could build upon to ensure that your children are "protected,: as well as to move yourself “upscale.”

Diana Baumrind’s “patenting styles,” John Bowlby’s “attachment theory,” and Erik Erickson’s “stages of development,” for example. Incredibly empowering stuff for a mother. They can all be Googled easily.

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■■■■ you. get off this thread. I don’t care about what you like or don’t.

You are right @csummers, I really just want to be better. Children are just so delicate. You rarely know which of your actions are going to stick in their little brains forever. I just wish I was perfect for them. They deserve it.

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yes you’re right @Csummers thanks.

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Kids don’t want or need a “perfect” mother…they just want them to love them.

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Erik Erickson as in conservative talk show host guy?

I do love them. With every fiber.

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Then that is all they need. Just make sure they know it.
The rest will work itself out in the long run.

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A horrible parent wouldn’t even be asking these questions. You’ve already won the battle. Now you just have to win the upcoming skirmishes.

You can do this! :smile:

Pixel.

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What if I get older and turn into my mother? I know my mother has turned.into her mother.

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Heavens no. This EE: http://image.slidesharecdn.com/chapter4-130914163304-phpapp02/95/psy-150-403-chapter-4-slides-68-638.jpg?cb=1379176722

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That only happens when the daughter is largely unconscious and/or unwilling to see, hear and feel what is. Those who face the music – as I so often see you doing – are far less likely to fall into Nancy Friday’s My Mother, My Self trap.

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Thats on you. …

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I’ve seen his stuff. Actually, I saw his stuff when I was looking up the other Erik Erickson.

I just want to hide…

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just keep being the sweet loving mother I know that you have inside you. Nurture the good, ignore the bad…you will accomplish great things I believe. good luck.

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From? What we feel? I hid for decades. And I suffered for decades from it.

It was all so easy to handle when I found out how.

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Any mother who really gets Baumrind, Bowlby and Erikson (maybe Piaget and Kohlberg, as well) will raise functional children.

http://www.devpsy.org/teaching/parent/baumrind_styles.html (thought there are now two more accepted parenting styles, “neglectful / abandoning” and “confusing.”)

http://www.simplypsychology.org/attachment.html I don’t know if you like Alanis Morissette or not, but she is all over attachment mothering. (I expect to hear about it in her seminar at Esalen in August.)

http://www.simplypsychology.org/piaget.html

http://www.simplypsychology.org/kohlberg.html

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Bwaaaahaahaaaa!!! My mom had a Masters in Social Work and was working towards a PhD when she passed. One of those people who could fix any problem but her own. You’ve seen me in action, right?

Sorry, but that was funny.

:stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Pixel.

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