Is it wrong to lie about diagnosis to a date?

DX'd - Other
1

Ive decided to start telling people im bipolar so i can actually get a date. Is this a bad idea? I mean i been stable awhile

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2

I wouldn’t tell them anything until after a few dates.

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3

I agree with @Samp, hold off on telling them, then when you’re comfortable you should probably be straight up about it.

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4

I’ve tried this before and it didn’t work. I’ve even said "I used to have depression " and they back off

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5

We all engage in little white lies. I don’t think it would hurt to avoid telling your date about it until you have to. I imagine that you would need to tell your significant other about your dx about the time you start looking at a committed relationship.

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6

I’ve seen girls on dating sites write “no bi polar or guys on heavy medications!” The stigma is real folks

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7

I’m taking the advice that says let it out bit by bit. Don’t give it all away at once.

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8

I’m not gonna lie, I don’t envy those of you on the dating scene one bit. I hope you all find what you’re looking for.

9

I would hold off on telling anyone anything until you’re more serious.

It’s sad but very true that the word schizophrenia, and even bipolar, scares people.

Just hang back from discussing mental health for the first few dates until you have a better feel for how the person might react.

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10

if you tell them right off, you might scare them off before they get the chance to know and like you. If you tell them on the first date or before you ever date them, the diagnosis will loom above you as try to make it work. But hey!! This is a weird world and it takes all kinds. I bet there are certain people out there in the world who will not be scared away by your disclosure. It takes all kinds, right?
Hell, if Charles Manson can get someone to want to marry him while he’s busy serving a life sentence for murder than I think you can find someone out there who wouldn’t be scared off by your disclosure.

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11

Casual dates i probably wouldnt say anything…if it became anything more probably let them in on some of it…

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12

Nope, don’t tell them your personal business.

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13

tell them you have to be honest otherwise you can never have a open and honest relationship

14

im in a 6 year relationship and i told him after a few weeks of meeting its great to be able to share with someone

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15

Why tell them anything? Let it come out on it’s own:

“What are those pills for?”

(Smile) “I’ve got a few screws loose. Nothing that’s catching, though.”

That won’t come up till well into things, and believe me, most people don’t care enough to pursue with questions. And, in part, he’ll figure he knows you well enough that he doesn’t need to ask.

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16

Don’t ever tell anyone anything personal about you while they are still strangers, or you might end up telling dozens of strangers very personal stuff about you that no one has a right to know. If you like a new person you meet, and they like you, and you’ve gone on a few dates, then before you let it get any further, then, and only then, must you tell them, because they have a right to know before they get attached to someone. That is only fair and it is what anybody would expect. Open self honesty is the SECOND step in a new friendship, not the first. You need to know there is even going to be a second step before it becomes appropriate to begin ‘sharing’ stuff. That’s what I think anyway. x

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17

I agree with the precedents. It is wonderful to fight the stigma and all but only if you are prepared (and strong enough) to take rejection with a smile on your face and no serious emotional repercussions. Dating is stressful enough for people who do not have any difficult past, for us even in remission it may be quite intense. But I think it is very important to be honest. But as said many others, wait until you know you may trust the person and they got to know you without (intentional or unintentional) prejudice. After a few dates you will probably have a good insight. Good luck and have fun!!! :grinning:

18

I agree with Nick, you just need to find a right person. Until then, don’t feel guilty for using a less stigmatized word. Although with people who have no idea about MI out of the mainstream representations…@turningthepage is right, every mention of ‘mental health issues’ can bring you a suspicious stare.
One guy asked me " you won’t kill me in sleep if I do something wrong?" And he was only half joking.

19

Unless you meet a girl/guy who wants to be a mental health worker, then they may go head over heels for you but think of you as their “experiment” :smile:

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Don’t start with that subject, I have a thing for ‘mental health workers’… :joy: