Like the one I call Elliot, he was really toxic to me and liked to abuse me but in some odd way, I miss him and I don’t really understand why.
Is it because I just never feel truly alone when I’m by myself? My thoughts never felt alone when he was around, but he was terrible to me.
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Were creatures of habit and miss anything that goes away, weather it is good for us or not
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Huh, that makes sense, guess that’s why even when someone abuses us, we might miss them…as sad as it is.
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I feel like I would miss my voices if they went away for an extended period of time even though they’re abusive. I feel like I could get rid of them if I stopped drinking coffee and maybe upped my meds dosage but I feel like I would be too lonely without them. I really don’t have much else in my life right now.
I honestly wondered the same thing in my case, about removing caffeine and what not, though it’s kind of the same for me right now about missing my voice. He was so bad to me but he was like that horrible friend, I just got a little attached I suppose.
I’m sorry you’re feeling alone though when they’re not around.
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I’m getting to the point where I do just want to get rid of them. We’re in a who wins and who loses battle and apparently I lose if I get rid of them the wrong way. I know it’s stupid but I don’t want to lose to them, lol.
I don’t miss any of my hallucinations. Hated the visuals worse than the voices though. The visuals had voices too.
If I want them to come back I just have to stop taking my meds. Not going to do that again. Learned my lesson the last time.
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I totally get that
I had an auditory and visual hallucination from the age of 7-22
He was abusive and wanted me to kill myself
I ended his life when I got on meds and went to therapy
I miss him though
He was my confidant, the only one who knew everything about me and what was going on
But my life is so much better without him
Now that I’m not on meds I worried for a while that he would come back, but the way he ‘went away’ was like death
So I doubt he will
I do however, have a new voice who is quite mean
But I don’t hear her very often
Thankfully my symptoms are very mild right now and easily handled
Good luck with your Journey, friend
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It’s good to hear he’s gone, and your symptoms have calmed down enough to reasonably deal with them.
Mine still exist but on my new medicine, it’s not as bad and usually last pretty short, about a couple minutes maybe. Some times I get anxiety about the voice coming back because of him nearly causing me to hurt myself…well, he pretty much drove me to but I felt enough control not to use the very thing he wanted me to, when it came to doing damage.
I am going to therapy as well as I hope after my therapist learned everything that’s going on, that it’ll help significantly over time.
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The isolating a lot of us do and the poverty many of us experience makes it difficult to make meaningful friendships in the real World. In many ways we are too distracted by our voices to get to know anyone else. And since many of us don’t have kids we don’t relate well to those who do. For the brief month or two my voices left I felt so alone I tried to reconnect with a bunch of people I had thought of a lot but never really got to know. I received some polite replies but little more than that. We had grown apart. I was unhappy when the voices came back but I have to admit i was missing them at the same time.
I don’t know, to be honest. I do know that I kept giggling whenever one of my less abusive voices came from the direction of my stuffed toy monkey and it would alternate between joking with me and threatening my family and telling me they were in the process of being killed.
I miss that moment of feeling like this is so absurd, this monkey really has mood swings, and kind of getting a kick out of its jokes.
Then, there was the guys in lion costumes on sesame street that told me telepathically they were assassins sent to monitor people via the television and I was confused but highly amused by the fact that assassins were willing to dress like lions. I kind of miss that, too.
our bodies get addicted to the adrenaline rush of things even negative things like bad voices
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i agree totally with the addiction to the adrenaline rush…
even when your clawing at your brain for it all to stop…
later in you miss it momentarily…
It’s not weird. It IS unhealthy. Just like it is unhealthy for an abused wife to miss her abusive husband. Meds, time, and therapy will get you past it.
I miss voices too. I am lonely without them. i feel omnipotent with them.
I didn’t really miss them once the hallucinations went away with meds. I was beside myself when I snapped out of my delusions and realized that I had dropped out of college and my life was going over the rails. I was also relieved that they finally ■■■■. It was destroying my life and preventing me from talking to anyone or even being able to read anymore. After they finally stopped I was suicidal not because I missed them but because I realized how screwed I was.
Have I got schiz or am I just a weirdo