man goes to church and tells the priest “Father, I almost cheated on my wife.”
The priest asks him “How do you almost cheat on your wife?”
The man says “Well, me and the woman were naked but we just rubbed against each other.”
The priest looks at him disgusted and says “Rubbing is the same as putting it in. Never do it again, say five Hail Mary’s and put $100 in the donation pan.”
The next time the priest sees the man he is infuriates “You didn’t put $100 in the pan!”
The man looks at the priest disgusted and says “I rubbed the money against the pan, and rubbing is the same as putting it in.”
A devout priest and a notorious sinner die at the exact same moment. The priest did nothing but good in his life, helped the poor, served the community, and lived a life devoted to God. The other guy was a true ladiesman, always had several girls upon which he cheated, had several wifes in his life all of who he cheated on by having affairs.
Unfortunately St. Peter made a mistake. He accidentally sent the priest to hell and the sinner up to heaven. It did not last long until St. Peter figured out his mistake and he quickly went to set it straight. He sent the sinner to hell, and let the priest come up to heaven.
The sinner and the priest met each other in purgatory. The priest, having endured the hardships of hell, was optimistic, and eager to finally enter into heaven. He could barely hide his excitement. So when the two ran into each other, the priest said to the sinner: "Oh finally! Finally I will be able to meet the virgin Mary!"
Upon which the sinner said: “I’m sorry, I don’t think that will be possible anymore”
@flybottle you think she would still be a virgin in heaven anyway? Now that would be sad. I hope she got some before she bit it. To have all the pain and suffering of child birth and never get the fun stuff would be a true shame. Or can nobody ever match up to God? Maybe a - once you go God your done - type of situation!! U just got me wondering. Great joke.
