Is it really that essential?


Continuing the discussion from A little about life:

This is purely a ponder. Just a brain, in pondering… the essence of understand and is it really all it’s cracked up to be. Do people hesitate to help because they don’t understand? I can see that. Maybe the fact that people try is more important then core understanding.

Maybe you need understanding to be able to help? So they go hand in hand?

I’ve been fighting off a cold feeling. It’s not negative symptom… or at least I hope it isn’t. There is a physical coldness that is creeping in under the skin. My kid sis has gotten the window in my room fixed so the draft doesn’t come in, and she pulled my snow bag out of storage and got it dry cleaned for me.
As she was doing this I’ve been trying to tell her… But you don’t understand… This coldness is sinking in deep. A blanket isn’t going to fix it.

She just said, “Most likely not, but wouldn’t a warm blanket just feel good?” (well yeah… who would say no to a cozy blanket in winter?)

There are some times that I do get frustrated with her efforts to comfort me. I think, “Nice try, but you just don’t understand do you?”
But then a voice in my head said, “To make her understand, we need to make her one of us.”

She’s not SZ, and I don’t want her to be. So she will most likely never understand. But her help to me, her energy and her time and love have kept me alive. So what if she doesn’t have full understanding. I don’t think she can with out being on the inside looking out instead of… As she always says, on the outside looking in.
So, she doesn’t fully understand… Is it really THAT important that she does?

I can’t understand for the life of me why she gets so down on herself when she gets called a goodie two shoe. She really reacts badly to that one. But I’m guessing the only way I can understand fully is if I was a 17 year old girl. I’m not and never will be. So I really don’t understand why. She’ll explain why it hurts her so badly, she’ll tell me why she hates it. I get that it really upsets her, but I don’t have that DEEP understanding.

When she comes home hides under the blanket on the sofa because she’s been called a goodie two shoe again, she never asks me for understanding… She asks me for sticky popcorn and a hug. She can explain it a 100 times, I still don’t know WHY it hurts her as much as it does. But that really doesn’t matter does it? I’m good for hug.

Just a ponder… By the way, I appreciate all the people who help us, comfort us and try to be there for us. We need you, full understanding or not. The caring you set in motion helps more then one may understand… :wink:



I agree with you J. Someone doesn’t have to have sz to be sympathetic or comfort us. I find that certain family individuals really get it. They see how we sometimes suffer, they understand - they want to heal. Its a personal thing though. It really is up to the individual. Some people are more sympathetic than others. I have seen some very cold and seemingly uncaring doctors, as I have seen some very warm and caring doctors. Just because you studied the illness, does not make them to be sympathetic. Knowledge does not equate to caring.



Suffering is suffering. My suffering may be different than yours, but I can still love you and want to ease your pain. Even among people with schiz, the suffering is different. No one can ever fully understand another, so all we can do is the best we can – which will sometimes be bumbling and awkward.

This is what I tell myself. More than ANYTHING else in the world, I want to ease the pain that people with schizophrenia experience.



when i was young and before i got officially diagnosed my godmother who i had only seen a couple of times, said to me " it is not your fault " they were the first kind words anyone had said to me .
they were said in kindness and i am always grateful for that moment, because it changed how i looked at my world !
take care



Everyone seems to be feeling pretty down lately. It’s the seasons maybe.




H ave u ever feel disturbed or uncomfortable that u are so different from the rest of the people in your world? like u would never be able to lead a life everybody naturally lives in?

Being “different” is kind of the biggest trouble to teenagers. Peer pressure can kill. I think it does caused a lot of disturbance in one’s sense of wellness. She would develop her own logics and theories.



I hate to admit it, but I don’t always think about other people. If something comes up that I don’t like, I tend to just leave and go do some thing that I do like. Not always the best, but I’m trying to get better. Thank you for your post. It’s something I will think about.