I think it’s ironic how I got diagnosed with schizophrenia when I went to college to be a psychologist. I had always enjoyed Psychology and learning the meaning behind people’s thoughts and behaviors. I had heard stories of my grandfather who was also schizophrenic and it started my fascination with psychology.
But while I did notice things were happening to me, I did not think they would lead to my imminent psychosis. I thought I was like one of those medical students who thought they had everything in the book, so I ignored my symptoms and figured they would go away in time. But they started getting worse and I before I knew it I was in the psychiatrist’s office getting the news.
I couldn’t believe it honestly. I’m a psychology student, surely I would’ve known about my own state of mind. But looking back I couldn’t deny that I had become rather delusional. Since then my life has felt like a series of ironic twist. I turned into the kind of person I wanted to help and found myself on the opposite end of psychology.
I don’t see how Elyn Saks does it. I read her book and she had it worse than me, yet she became a professor and everything. I want to eventually do that myself and try to learn more about psychotic disorders. Then maybe I could find a better solution to this crummy illness, or maybe even a cure.