Is it bad to be jealous if

I feel really bad at the moment.

My parents both just retired, and I am having a hard time digesting the information

When I explained it to my mother I said that we’re such a close knit unit, that I think it’s having an impact on how I view working

I told her I was jealous, but later told her I think it might actually be because it’s significant change in circumstances to people close to me, and I find it hard to process the information

The second part I think is the reason

In 2013 they tried to pension me off on benefits and give me a place to live as they thought I was not worthy of repair

Part of it may be me thinking back to this event and wondering how much different things would have been now, and whether it may have been better

I don’t know how to feel about this to be honest.

Really glad they can stop working and spend time together, but this difference for some reason I am finding hard to cope with, and my only self-deprecating theory is pure jealousy - or maybe it is the other thing?

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Either way, they’re just feelings. you aren’t hurting anyone by having feelings. It’s natural to have a reaction to such a big change in circumstances. Don’t beat yourself up for a natural reaction.

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That’s good as I don’t want to upset anyone saying what I did

I wasn’t sure as it’s not physically happening to me - it’s just the thinking of something like retirement just feels so out of reach

Thanks @leafy I wasn’t sure if I was just being a jerk about it

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i don’t know as i am not you

but from an outsider perspective, if you have given work a chance you probably thought it may have been because you might be capable and no one can tell better than you since you are you and you had the mental capacity to make that decision at that time

so i would say it is a GOOD thing that you at the very least gave work a shot because you never know if you don’t try.

so now after having tried, at least you can say you know what you truly are and aren’t capable of as opposed to having not have the faintest clue and potentially wasted opportunities,it is part of the process, trying

@Joker ,trial and error :slight_smile:

The problem I have is being consistent.

I crash and bounce back - then change course and do all sorts of different things

This is very true. I am lucky I guess that I learned a trade before I fell ill - so I was already setup with skills

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I can kinda understand.I was a little envious when they retired, they don’t have to work anymore and get a nice pension, but they worked hard their whole lives so they deserve to take it easy now. I think it also affected me because I realized they are getting older and won’t be around much longer. I don’t really have anyone else.

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Hopefully those crashes are not doing any irreversible toll on you and maybe with time you will find something that wont cause you to crash.

Either way it is good that you are trying with work, but only if you feel capable, ie. the crashes are not causing major long term distress.

Maybe this might be factoring into it. Not sure

I have never had anyone close to me retire like that

Without my parents to help and advise for me I am screwed.

Have a step brother and sister, but he lives far away and my sister doesn’t care about me

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They have a massive toll.

I used to pride myself on being able to tolerate so much illness, but these days I feel I have gotten more sensitive

Moving back to Landscaping was supposed to prevent it, but this time it’s not psychosis but possible depression

Just really unclear why my pdoc was happy for me to refuse meds based on side effects and not even bother to suggest something else

Perhaps this may not have needed to be so hard, but I was just in denial about diagnosis number 4

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Oh I see.

well then I can see why you sort of felt jealous of your parents retirement.

Maybe you feel it is unfair that they are retiring and you are working even though the work is having a significant impact on your wellbeing.

I can understand why those feeling might be arising in you.

Maybe talk this through with a professional too to see what the best course of action is

What was your diagnosis no. 4?

1st Paranoid Schizophrenia
2nd Generalised Anxiety Disorder
3rd ASD
4th Depression

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I had my time doing this.

The NHS seems uninterested now in giving me more therapy even though the set of sessions I had were useless

Looked up online and private psychology is so expensive. It was about £200 an hour!

Guess I could use my PIP for that, but I have already used some of it to get a cleaner in to help me keep the flat clean

Are you sure those diagnoses are mutually exclusive or not cumulative?

I will miss my parents tremendously and I’ll miss my mom sticking up for me when doctors don’t agree with me. I would have been “screwed” without her. One pdoc wanted to lock me up in the nut house but it was my mom that said no. Sometimes the pdocs don’t listen to me and think they know better. Many times it has been my mom and that made things better,

Financially I think I will be fine though which helps alleviate stress. The house across the street sold for 1.4 million a few years ago, and property prices have only gone up. I can’t afford this house (insurance, bills, maintenance, etc…) by myself, or even with my brother, he has a low income job, so we’ll probably sell the house when my parents die, by that time it’ll be worth at least 1.5 million, then by a smaller place in a different town where real estate is cheaper, then sit on a million dollars during my retirement. At least that is one positive about my future.

But I don’t have any friends or a gf so my future will be lonely. I have my brother, we have a good relationship but are very different, plus he doesn’t understand schizophrenia.

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I guess it was unpicking things from psychosis being treated as the main aliment, with the other things becoming noticeable when I wasn’t a blabbering mess.

Not sure how it works

All I know is my previous pdoc knew me from 16 to 32, and he never picked up on these things - and he was the top doctor by time he retired

Just makes me think whether this new pdoc just has it in for me!

Can totally relate to what you’re saying.

My mother has done so much for me I couldn’t even list it

Nobody else stood by me in the bad times, but my family - so I know for a fact I can trust them with my life

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Me too, @Joker . 15151515

I guess you can fill out a universal credit form and just be honest on it and see if you are entitled to coming off work.

I don’t know what you are going through but if you feel it is affecting you seriously, continuing work, maybe it is time to go on universal credit.

what about universal credit, and speaking to a job coach of theirs about your circumstances so that they can guide you on a part time job that you feel safe to do with your diagnosis. only if you feel that you can…or when you can

The thing that I am uncertain about is how you will be able to continue affording living if you are paying off mortgages and such? maybe it is still possible

The employment specialist from the NHS off-handed me recently as our 12 months was up.

She wanted me to engage with access to work, but they wanted a 3 year business plan and I had no idea how to write one - let alone need one

Very condescending people I spoke to.

They were only going to help me for 9 months anyway, so I said no

With Universal Credit, I got the limited capacity to work last year, but I gradually started working more and more until it became redundant

I tried to get them to talk to me, but again this rude person at the job centre said that I should not work as I am being paid not to and not expected to look, so I wasn’t a priority on his case load.

What a load of BS!

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