Is family important to a person? if they are never around?

well im thinking of my brother, i know he thinks, family is important to him. he visits every couple of years, but honestly i have rarely seen him in the last 25 years. im thinking i will be better off when i get to the point of no longer thinking i have a brother and just forget about him. he doesn’t answer my emails or stay in contact with me. just wants the warm greeting when he does visit. i don’t want to be bitter about it, so i want to not care about him anymore. he was my hero when i was little and got me into sports. but then he took off when he was 18 but i still have my childhood psychology or something. depending on the day i go from bitter, to not concerned about him. i never just accept that he has his own life to live and is doing so. it’s just the actions don’t match the words, which bothers me.

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I have family like this.

Wouldn’t waste your energy if you have tried your best to contact, and get nothing back.

This is what it’s like with my step-sister. I literally only saw her before Covid if she went to my parents for food.

She has 4 kids, 2 cats, a dog and husband to look after, and works a part time job in a nursery.

There isn’t the time in the day for her to even bother to call me.

I have not spoken to her in any form since December

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yeah my brother is really busy, he works hard for his money, putting in 60 hours a week. he has 2 daughters in college, who i see more than him, because they come and visit us. he will have grandchildren soon probably. i just need to get over it i guess. but don’t think i’ll see much of him anymore once mom and dad pass. he lives 1400 miles away, he does stay in contact with mom and dad over the phone though, so that is the only way i know what is kinda going on in his life, when i get updates from mom and dad. mom tells me to call him instead of sending a yearly email, but i dont have a cell phone.

he always tells mom to tell me he loves me. which honestly just drives me crazy and annoys me for some reason.

Aren’t a lot of men Out of sight, out of mind?
Ha.
It’s what I’ve experienced.

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I have a mean sister who I completely ignore now. I’ve let it go and it no longer bothers me. On the other hand, I haven’t seen my mom in over two years, but she’s still very important to me

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There’s the family we are born into, and then there is the family we create for ourselves from our friendships.

I’m not sure who said that, but it sounds pretty true to me

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All I have left of a family from both my mother and father’s side is an uncle. I really like the concept of family, and we certainly had it growing up. Once my mom died, our two families fractured and there was much division and strife. I think my uncle is a toxic person. Maintaining a civil discourse over the phone with him is enough for me. Put it this way: I’ll be sad when he dies because he’s the only family I have left, but I wouldn’t go to his funeral even if we lived in the same town.

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My brother lives one town away but he doesn’t make a big effort to stay in touch.
He just bought a new house and he’s busy with his job, son and girlfriend.

He’ll call me or my dad from time to time but he’s basically not around so much.

But he made sure to visit me when I was in the psych hospital twice a week and he also visited me twice when I was in the ER at different times.

He also fought to get me my disability.

I haven’t forgotten this.

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Sounds like he’s got your back when you need him

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i wouldnt just forget about your relationship with your brother, you will always have the bond you shared with him growing up. Nothing can take that away. Just cause you dont talk to him much and he is very busy with life doesnt mean he doesnt love you. He is just very busy that is why you dont talk, im sure he just doesnt have enough time in the day to think of you as often. He is busy carving out a spot in life. Dont give up on it cause you never know it might not be now but maybe somewhere down the road when you get old and things settle down in his life where you guys can connect again and get close. You will always have the memories…

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