I have the strange conviction that everyone gets suicidal at one point or another. From what I’ve been able to gather from my therapist when he says he wants to shut the door on my suicidal tendencies I’m sort of confused. I used to think that everyone was suicidal at least sometimes. It just seems strange to me that you could go through life and not at least a few times feel like ‘nope. I’m done with this’.
Has anyone here ever made it this far without becoming suicidal (to the point of being on the verge of doing it) even just once? I don’t mean just odd thoughts like ‘I wish I was better off dead’ or ‘I’m such a problem, my parents would be better off without me’. I mean full on, you’re crying and you’re about to call the suicide hotline but you feel like they don’t understand you and can’t help.
Please comment with your favorite animal. I’ve had more than one post where I feel like everyone just read either the title or just a sentence or two and comments. I would really rather you didn’t comment than just assume what I’m talking about from the title. This is an important one to me. I honestly have a hard time believing that not everyone has these thoughts.
Once With A Bottle Of Advil - Didn’t Work (Severe Headache)
Once (by) Jumping Out Of a Car - Didn’t Work (Coma)
&
Stepping In Front Of a Car At Night - Didn’t Work (Tazed by a Police Officer) ,
and THAT Is What e(Y)e’m Done With … ,
e(Y)e’m Done With Giving Up Within Complete Anger … ,
I Do Believe That Errrone Wants To OR Tries To Or Guves Up In Their Own Personal Way , (by) Sleeping With 100 Guys Gals , Or Tempting Themselves To Sit On Tha Tracks While a Train Speeds Closer …,
I have social thoughts every few years or so. Most recently due to hearing voices that convinced me I had to do it. My sister, who is about 35, had never even been really depressed. She still thinks people can just get over things if they really wanted to. I hunk the large majority of people have been there or at least close to it at some point, but there are definitely people that haven’t.
I’ve tried a few times. The most serious attempts occurred when I was very isolated in an apartment and on Haldol. I didn’t have a TV or a computer, and I dwelled on a lot of morbid things all the time. One time I took 4500 mg of Trazadone. Apparently, I am immune to any amount of that drug. I still have an occasional impulse that direction, but it is for a different reason now, not because I’m bummed out by life, but because there are possibilities in my life that I find intolerable.
One of the times as a teen. My mom decided to go for a walk togeather with me when I had planned to jump from the railroad bridge inte the ice cold water. We went to the bridge and looked at the view. Maybe she suspected something, maybe not. I could not do it while she was Watching.
Another time as an adult. I was going to od on lethal dose and mix of pills. I asked my husband to drive me to ER before I got to far. I had tried a week before but did not use enough pills. I ended up in ER and later got a hangover from hell.
I would like to believe my suicidal days are way past me. I haven’t had a suicidal thought in a long time, and much of my suicidal thoughts were med-induced. They were simply too strong and blocked too many natural pathways I needed to feel good.
You’re right. Most people today will experience these thoughts at least once in their lives. That doesn’t mean it will happen. I have attempted suicide seriously twice. Once at the onset of my schizophrenia when i was 15 and once later I swallowed a bottle of wine etc. and my dad took me to the ER after I told him I overdosed.
I have not ever attempted suicide again since sincerely making a vow to God not to upon the death of my Uncle who overdosed on drugs at a party and they just left him to die of a stroke from them. My dad said he wanted to do something, he wanted to help but in the end it was my uncles main fault. And from the death of my uncle I heard a voice from him. I think that was my uncle’s way of giving back to my father, my father’s brother spoke to me and he was in a coma and my dad went to see him before he passed. He made me promise to never kill myself, and so I wont ever to respect my uncles dying wish and to support my dad who has given everything to me.
Most people have the thought at least once or twice. I don’t think most people have had a moment where they were on the verge of doing it, though. The only time I ever got close to wanting to attempt suicide was when I was on Depakote, and when I told my doctor they took me off it immediately.
If you have the passing thought that it would be a convenient solution, that is common. If you’ve made a plan, that is slightly less common, but still normal. If you have been seriously close, and felt the need to call the hotline, that is horrible and you should get help so you never have to feel that way again.
I like all animals, but if I had to choose, I would probably say a starfish.
i put some of my favoirte animals up…i did read your whole post.
i don’t think generally people think about suicide… it is a small minority.
the nearest i got was 15 minutes before being brain dead…20 minutes before death.
the doctor was sitting on top of me pumping my chest with a plastic tube down my throat.
i remember trying to get the tube out of my mouth and throat…the doctor actually slapped me.
.i think someone held my arms, hands down.
i had other times with knifes.
i used to walk across the road …eyes closed…hoping to be hit and killed.
walk on the ledges of multi story buildings just standing there…waiting for a gust of wind to take me…so i did not have to make the final decision myself.
but i am glad i am alive now…
take care
I’ve had a few people in my life say the thought has crossed their mind. depression… contemplation…
They didn’t get anywhere near as close as I did. (thankfully)
I wasn’t in my right mind when I tried to exit this life. I was fully out of my head.
There was a time I was fighting off the urge a lot… It was after my failed attempt… I was still a bit shaky and not doing well…
I remember I used to ask myself what I would miss the most if I went through with it. There was this type of caramel chocolate cake I would miss. I went out and got some… and by the time I got the money… put gas in the car… drove around found the cake… got home… ate the cake… got tired… fell asleep…
I woke up the next morning… (surprised)
I would paly this game with myself a lot… the cake didn’t cure anything… it just kept me here one more day… and then another day… and a day after that. It took a while to crawl out of that hole.
the world needs people like you SurprisedJ and your kidsister
dark sith buys SurprisedJ a life time amount of caramel chocolate cake …so he stays on this planet.
take care
That actually sounds a lot like me except I didn’t have a car. I would get sleepy. It doesn’t happen any more but for some reason I used to always get really sleepy after I cried. That must have been some good cake.
i put some of my favoirte animals up…i did read your whole post. 
…so he stays on this planet. 