Is anyone else like me? I feel alone

Whenever I describe my schizo I feel like a liar because my voices and experiences are different. They don’t tell me to do bad things (except that one time that I was told to rape and kill) and are almost docile. If I try to focus on what they’re saying, I depersonalize and I can’t hear them. It’s there but it’s not there. I hear a constant ringing, water sound, crowd of voices, two people talking gibberish, and snapshot of conversations in my head. The only voice I can hear and somewhat control is my “inner” voice who is actually a shape shifting voice who is loud. Sometimes they will be male or female, and they will take control of my thoughts and make me think things or narrate everything I do. Anyone else like this?-

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How old are u and where r u from…i like u man…common…

It doesn’t sound abnormal to me. I don’t experience those things personally, but I can’t imagine it’s far from what others are experiencing.
I don’t think you would lie about those things, but I recognise the feeling of being a liar. I feel so silly when my therapist asks about my voices or what’s going on inside my head. I feel like they would think I was making it up or something.

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I know. And people are constantly telling me I’m making it up. I had some bad doctors in the past, giving me wrong meds, refusing to diagnose/misdiagnosing me. Got some new ones and they believe me which is nice. I feel so… stupid because my old T kept telling me “it’s not real, it’s in your head, it’s just anxiety” etc. Which is true I have severe anxiety, but I’ve3 been experiencing these symptoms since a child so… how could I be faking it that long?
And I suppose I’m weird because I recognize I have an issue before I tell anyone. Apparently, schizophrenics can’t have any idea what the illness or understand they have an issue. I’ve always been self aware and very tuned in with my body. For years and years I didn’t think I had an issue, and assumed I didn’t have schizo because I was scared of the thought (she said if you are scared of it it’s not real??). But how else do I explain my symptoms? She doesn’t have an answer. Got a new doc and it’s all good tho

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I am still in highschool and in America

mine are the people who want to interfere in my life. they’re abusive idiots you cant stand. some are for guidance and not evil

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I have had very similar experiences you’re not alone!

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I have a lot going on in my head at different times. I can relatte. You are not alone that’s for sure. My first two hospitalization were terrible so was my first psychiatrist. They misdiagnosed me too in the beginning. I think a lot of us here are pretty self aware. Don’t feel like a liar it’s not your fault. Anyway I went to two hospitals in the beginning and had a psychiatrist and for years they let me go around with severe akathesia from meds and didn’t do anything or recognize what was going on. I didn’t know what was going on either. The first hospital I was in told my family that ir was my illness. I was pretty passed for a while after I realized it was the meds causing the akathesia and my health team didn’t have a clue. They should have known what was going on and done something. Sorry to go on a bit of a rant in your post

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@SupercoolTM. I think that self awareness you have is called insight and yes some people have it.

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Hey it’s okay! Thank you for sharing that with me

Glad to hear! :smiley: nice to know someone else like me is out there

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That’s interesting, thank you for sharing!

If you ever want to talk or vent I’m always willing to listen :slight_smile:

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My hallucinations are almost the same as yours. Just background conversations that I don’t really pay attention to, a narrator, and some music.

Since you’re still in high school, that’s probably why you don’t have a diagnosis yet. Doctors are hesitant to slap a schizophrenia label on a kid, because it comes with a lifetime of stigma. Don’t worry so much about that. It’s all about symptom management. As long as they’re treating your symptoms, that’s what matters.

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I’ve had a similar experience. I actually don’t hear many voices or much auditory hallucinations, save from my name being called, random beeps, ringing and loud intrusive thoughts. I experience more visual and tatical hallucinations. When people find out about my sz, they always ask first about the voices in my head. They usually seem a little disapointed when they find out I don’t really experience that.

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That’s kind of messed up they get disappointed when you can’t hear voices, wtf, what do they expect? But I’m glad you don’t hear voices. Personally for me, I can ignore it for the most part, same thing with my hallucinations because my brain usually understands it’s not real and it disappears. But not everyone is as lucky as me, and I hope you learn to manage it!

That makes lots of sense. My new doctors believe me, but it does make sense that I’m too young, which I understand, because teens have so much going on they can experience psychosis symptoms. But unfortunately I’ve been like this since a kid, but since it’s not as severe I guess it’s not too much of an issue

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Thanks friend! I appreciate it!

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