Is a great fellowship….if you’re “ready”

Health and Recovery
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Trigger warning :warning:-drug and alcoholic talk

But

AA/NA-went last night for the first time in years.

Never felt so welcomed anywhere in my life.

Quite contrary to the last times I went they couldn’t comment on anything besides how I looked “too young for these meetings”.

Well granted I looked like I was 17 years old. I was really around 26 or 27 the last time I went to an anonymous meeting.

But in truth I wasn’t ready, I really needed to self medicate more as well as decimate my life more before I did reach a favorable “rock bottom”

It is indeed a shame how society treats addicts. The stigma is the worst.

I think of it as more as “people who self medicate illegally”. And addiction is mostly a result of a messed up system that pins the user against the drugs and society by breathing ignorance into their use of misunderstood substances, only creates more problems. And it’s obvious to me drugs should all be legal. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have an individual responsibility to treat my addiction problems. It may have been created by external factors quite a bit :ok_hand: . But it’s still my responsibility to see past this problem.

Well they always said they’d be there if I need them anyways. So it’s good they’d say that.

It’s not like I use drugs or drink often at all anyways.

But when I do it creates problems. I definitely have a track record.

Well let’s say I was trying to smoke weed once a week. Then it changes to twice then 3 then buying it and smoking all day every day again.

So it’s a problematic pattern even if not the very worst.

So yesterday was my first day after a weed binge completely sober. So decided to walk to an aa meeting. I figured I have nothing to lose. Worse case scenario it doesn’t work out and I’m back to smoking weed here and there. But tbh the meeting stimulated my mind better than a cup of joe and a cigarette. But that’s not the healthiest thing. Or a line of ketamine for that matter… I mean that’s an escape so it’s def not perfect. Neither is AA perfect or society but it’s def a step in the right direction I assume. But it sounds cliche but I didn’t feel so alone anymore. And neither alone with my thoughts.

Went to bed so anxious but woke up refreshed.

An old timer who I always looked up to ive been texting with. He told me to go to a lunch meeting with food today at noon. I’m gonna go and walk there.

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Yeah, that was a problem when I sobered up (I was 23). I notice that we’re seeing more younger people at meetings now, especially online. This is a good thing. You don’t want someone to give all of their best years to addiction and then sober up late in the game. I think it’s great that we’re reaching people earlier now. Just ignore the bitter old timers and keep showing up!

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I said in my share “I’m 31. I know I look young”. They gave kind of a confused but agreeable///more like understanding, look :eyes:.

Apparently I can pass for 31 now. So it’s not so bad.

My potential sponsor said he could relate to my story tooth and nail and he said he could see potential great success in me.

Felt good to hear that.

I got fairly good respect this time. Was just last time…I always thought I wasn’t ready. Was just going for a break or something . So maybe people could perceive I wasn’t ready. But now I look like I’m ready :facepunch: and I feel like I’m ready :+1:

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There’s 23 meetings I can walk to at this church per week.

I think there’s another church I can walk to with 2-3

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I never went to an NA meeting.

The people at rehab really encouraged it,

But I’m not really in line with their values and beliefs.

I’m happy it helps people,

Not for me.

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I’m an athiest and stick out like a sore thumb at some 12 Step meetings where people like to push religion. I think it grinds some of them that I’m nearly 30 years sober without needing their Guy In The Sky. You don’t have to agree with everything there to succeed.

Just one person’s opinion.

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GOD aka Group Of Drunks??? Do you adhere to this saying. Or too corny :laughing:

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I’m sure it’s true that you can do well with the program and not have to have god involved.

There’s some other stuff I have a problem with too.

I’m not 100% that addiction is a disease.

They really preach that there and I feel differently.

I’ve never really understood why people think addiction is a disease and I’ve been an addict.

But even with that,

Meetings could be interesting to attend and see if they are beneficial.

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I’d have to look up definitions of disease. But I do understand the compulsion to use. And AA is like your medicine kinda for the compulsion and you need something to replace it.

I definitely think that some can recover what people thought was the disease of addiction on their own. While others need meetings, other coping skills. So it’s definitely right imo to have the “disease of addiction” mostly self-diagnosis.

No one can truly say you’re an addict/alcoholic, besides yourself.

Guy who drove me home from the meeting was also questioning whether it’s a disease or not.

There’s also smart recovery which has no God in it. And refuge recovery-for Buddhists. And non-secular meetings. And more. Just to name some examples

Me I relate great with the AA principles. If they didn’t emphasize that God is only an option. I’d probably not go. But being the agnostic -leaning towards theistical which I am, it’s pretty fair with my beliefs.

I myself preferred NA but I’d need to start getting rides because it’s a tad far.

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I don’t really have cravings for my drug of choice anymore,

But I still smoke a lot of cannabis and drink.

I think that’s okay because it’s not hurting my life or other people’s lives like the drugs were.

I could be wrong, but it’s been working for years and years.

I don’t think any sobriety program would be on board with that.

Well,

Maybe here in California.

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I’d say sickness. When you can’t stop a behavior that is killing you, it’s definitely not healthy.

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I agree.

We just learned a lot about how addiction is a disease in rehab and I felt like saying that took the accountability out of it.

People with horrible diseases didn’t ask for them,

I chose to use drugs.

I don’t know, it’s a complicated matter and everyone feels differently.

But I think calling it a sickness is fair.

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Maybe I’m the minority, but I quit drinking on my own. I tried AA, but all I got was a bunch of guys who had no control over their own life screaming at me that I’m faking, and I could never recover on my own.

I practiced the 12 steps on my own for a while, but found little difference. I wish it did to be honest.

But the long and the short of it is, I am a completely recovered alcoholic. Anything is possible if you set your mind to it

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Cheers to you if you quit drinking. AA is not the only path, that’s for sure. Also, it’s not a place you go expecting to meet healthy people. Everyone there is at some stage of being @#$%ed up (including me). My rule is that if I leave a meeting needing at least two more to recover from the first, it was unhealthy and I don’t go back.

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Seems like a good rule of thumb. I was part of a three-step group for a while which was a little more constructive, but even that faded in interest

I’m just glad I’m still here. Pouring Whiskey on top of a brain injury is a big No-No

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