For years I’ve thought about being a foster parent,
My husband and I talked and I think around this time next year we’ll be ready.
I’ve looked into qualifications and state requirements and don’t see any reason they wouldn’t want us to do it.
Have you been a foster parent or been in a foster home?
Can you offer any insight or advice for someone interested?
I’ve been looking into it and asked a friend of mine who does it. She said don’t go into it thinking it will be easier than traditional parenting. It’s much harder, because you frequently have to give the kids back to parents you know will mistreat them.
I’m sure its incredibly difficult,
Yet worthwhile.
It can be really rewarding. Mr. Star’s younger sister is a foster sibling. Her bio mom came back when she was 12 and demanded custody. Now, she only gets to see her real family on summers and holidays. And even then she barely comes out, because she feels responsible for working to pay rent for her bio mom. But when we get to see her, it’s awesome. I just wish she didn’t have to go to her bio mom anymore.
That’s upsetting.
Surly seeing that would be infuriating.
I feel like I have a lot to offer as a mother-type figure, and gods know I can cope with the feeling of loss when they go.
I also feel like it is literally the best thing you can do,
Helping children who’ve endured such hardship.
Tell me more about it because I am feeling like ■■■■ for not being able to have kids of my own.
I don’t really know that much about it,
But I’m learning.
Is IVF an option for you?
I don’t think fostering would be an alternative to adoption or having your own children.
I don’t want to try the possibilities.
I am having a bad day today.
It will cost money, get complicated, plus does that stop my child from becoming schizophrenic?
I’m sure you have options,
But if you’re having a bad day,
Its probably not the day to discuss it.
Sorry you’ve had a rough one, @mermaid1.
Kids in the foster system are often terribly damaged. Through no fault of their own, but that doesn’t make it less stressful if they have hours long tantrums, smear poo around, hit your pets with hammers, etc. I’m not saying don’t do it, I’m just saying, google the horror stories before deciding, and understand most of these kids will come with serious, serious baggage.
The foster system probably needs good people, hope it works out for you.
Kudos to you for looking into it. My aunt and uncle are foster parents. From what I understand from them you have to be prepared to enact proper and constant discipline. I was talking to my aunt a few days ago and she seemed pretty stressed out from her current foster child. But if you are stabilized with your mental health hopefully it will work out for you guys. 
I looked into foster, with hopeful eventually adoption, before I had my daughter. I had given up hope of ever having a successful pregnancy and was staring to figure out what I’d need to do. If finances allow we’ll probably go back to that plan after our kid is in school.
It can be extremely stressful so prepare for that. If I were you I would start with fostering very young children or babies first so at least if things get out of hand you can physically have control.
That said many of those children have suffered so much and really just want someone who will love them and be there for them regardless of their behavior. And yes you can form deep bonds to those children only to have them taken away from you, sometimes back into a bad situation so be prepared for that as well.
Definitely do a lot of research. Watch documentaries, read about others’ experiences and be aware of worst case scenarios. I’ve never been a foster parent or anything but did have a phase where I was very interested in the foster care system and did a lot of research on it. It’s such a broken and overburdened system, it’s incredibly sad. Foster children are often forgotten children because of this.
I’m definitely not interested in being a foster parent. Sometimes I think I moved into this assisted living facility so that I would be ineligible to take care of my little grandniece and grandnephew. They don’t accept kids in here. Luckily, their mom took them back in this year. And, everything is going great.
My illness cannot handle the stress of kids. That was proven when I had my own child.
My sister was a foster child. She had to go back to her bio mom every so often until she was 3 when her bio mom put all her kids up for adoption. So we got to adopt my sister and she became part of our family and didn’t have to go back to her bio family who was abusive. This worked out very well for us. But it could have been entirely different if she hadn’t gone up for adoption…
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