Intense Apathy

I feel apathetic. No goals, no interest in others, not interested in helping others, feel like saying things on my mind, no desires beyond surviving, not interested in work or school, and no interest to improve myself. A few things happened. I ran out of sarcosine, I stopped Wellbutrin, I take L-Theanine, and I started gabapentin. I have increased wellbeing. I want inner peace and I see that by having no goals or interests in putting effort into anything. I want an easy life without suffering. I don’t know if I’ve been suffering lately but I feel some discomfort. My thoughts bother me and I have derealization. I have intrusive thoughts and regular thoughts that are paranormal and delusional. I have weird and unsettling ideas about reality. And the derealization causes mental discomfort because reality is altered. I don’t want to, but I probably have to help my mom and my brother sometimes to keep the peace and have a place to stay. I might say some offensive things in the future and I don’t know if I’ll care. I think this is a bad thing. It’s good to be caring. But I feel like I need to get my anger out.

I feel that a lot. Where I feel if I have no goals to work for it will reduce my risk for suffering. Then I’ll realize I’ll suffer anyway and I continue to try to work toward something. Hang in there! And try exercise for anger if your up for it. Or find something that you can punch that won’t hurt you or anyone else. Like a bag or pillow. :blush:

I felt that way today, too. I think it’s seasonal shifts in weather & temperature. I’m learning how to acclimate more efficiently as each year goes by.