Schizophrenia.com

Insecurity from lack of gratification

#1

When a baby cries and no one answers it becomes insecure. Such is a sz’s life.

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#2

If the baby has been fed, nothing is hurting, and has clean diapers, it’s ok to let them cry, as long as it isn’t for an hour or so. Babies have to learn to sooth themselves, they learn to do that by not being an overly protective parent that picks them up every time they cry.
Instant gratification is the basis for most addictions.

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#3

I’ve been told you mustn’t let a baby cry for more than a minute because their sense of time is so different. A minute seems like a week to them. Lots of other things can make a baby cry. Colic, a loud noise, just plain realizing he is all alone is scary.

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#4

That isn’t true about not letting a baby cry, As long as there isn’t anything hurting the baby physically, or hungry or need a clean diaper, it don’t hurt them to cry for a little bit.
You have never been in charge of a baby for any length of time have you?
They aren’t as fragile as you might think. If a parent is too over-protective, the child never learns to rely on themselves. It actually causes more anxiety when the child learns the parent cant be there 24/7 for every little problem they encounter.

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#5

Well, I can’t deny that I had a worrier for a mother and is where I pick up my ideas. Crying to exhaustion and thoughts of abandonment make sense to me. You have to realize your theory teaches baby that it doesn’t matter if he’s helpless, he’ll be alright. That’s not a good lesson.

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#6

Crying to exhaustion is not acceptable. I said crying for a little bit, meaning 5 or so minutes if all was well otherwise, and mainly if they were just put down for a nap, or just woke up from a nap. I’m also talking about babies who couldn’t talk. If a child (not a baby) were crying for anything, that is certainly something to take a look and see what’s up.

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#7

I’d let my kid sis cry for a little bit. Plus it was a different sound. The “I’m hungry, I’m hurt and scared” sound was different then, “I’m mad and cranky, and I didn’t get my way!” sound.

I wouldn’t let her cry to exhaustion, but if she was just having a bit of tantrum, she’d usually quiet down in about 10 minutes or so. That way she also learned young that she didn’t get her way by having a tantrum.

But she really didn’t cry just to cry that much. She would bang on things and yell. That ended when she started walking and could get stuff for herself.

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#8

It was determined that my Mom smothered me as in over protection and would pick me up the moment i cried, and picked me up all the time even when i wasn’t crying. She wondered why I would push away and thought this abnormal. It was said by both family and psychologists that she gave way too much attention and I had no space whatsoever…this resulted in my pushing away and crying because she picked me up.

There has to be a balance…can’t smother a child, and cannot let them wail for a long time either…

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