Personally I liked strict discipline which made me different from my siblings.
I hated discipline because it was never reasonable. I’m not sure if I could tackle the issue without bias, but it really depends on the method of discipline. I grew up with everything forced down my throat <<<< I disagree with that. I think there’s a balance between upbringing, protecting, teaching; and freeing, and letting a child learn and choose their own path.
There has to be SOME discipline but there has to be some times that things get to slide.
Children have to learn how to think on their own… because when they turn 18 they have to do it anyway.
There also has to be boundaries and consequences for some actions because again… if they don’t learn how to survive… then it’s going to be very hard for them when they grow up.
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There needs to be a healthy balance.
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I had strict dicipline. It made me react in the opposite direction. I got beaten a lot but I never surrendered. Dad could never win over me because he couldn’t get to me through hard dicipline and beating.
My mother didn’t do rules or discipline. Hippie. Two plus decades in a twelve step program have taught me that some firm rules and limited use of discipline (putting spanking on the table as an option meant I never had to use it) are needed in child rearing. My daughter is much more together at age 13 than I was, this is certain.
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My siblings who all had this free upbringing have been successful in their lives and have families, but I am just this lonely paranoid sz person. They often have said that hippies of the past have become executives in the corporations of the future.
I was brought up to freely. As a child of divorce when one parent got angry I would just run to the other. My dad only seldom got angry, but he did step in if I was to out of line. Like say if I was smoking pot in the house. My mother was so upset in those days because I got away with everything. I’m still a very undisciplined person because of it. I’ve failed out of college twice, taken drugs until it induced a seemingly permanent psychosis,(everyone tells me not to blame the drugs or myself, there would have had to have been a predisposition or whathaveyou), I’m basically stuck here living with my parents until I get on disability or find a job that is suited to me.
My father was abusive in his discipline and it drove a deep wedge between us while I was a teenager. That and the fact that I “knew what he did” by leaving mom for another woman then came back to be funded by my mother through med school. So basically I got beat once in a while but I did what I wanted.
My mother was the dominant parent in my household, she was quite strict. My dad was more open and free, but I was influenced by my mother and grew scared of her and respected her authority a lot. The only problems with my upbringing were that my mother was overprotective and spoilt me so I grew up not doing things myself. My mother did too much for me, made my phone calls and other things, and so I was insecure when entering adulthood. Too much discipline can be a bad thing, because a child needs to learn to do things for him or herself. My sister was a rebel, but I was the opposite - I was anxious to please. To this day the way my parents overprotected and spoilt me has had ramifications, and it aggravates my symptoms as well when things get very stressful and I need to grow up but can’t cope.
My upbringing wasn’t particularly strict. I had lots of time and freedom to do what I want which was hanging out with my friends every day and almost every night. I had curfews which I broke often which me and my parents argued about but they stuck to their guns and enforced them. On the other hand occasionally if I asked them, sometimes they would extend my curfew. Every teenager has a messy bedroom don’t they ? I certainly did. I rarely attempted to clean it. I threw clothes on the floor and other junk too. My mom was actually the disciplinarian. My dad was pretty mellow and rarely asked us to help around the house.This was a constant source of friction between my parents. My mom wanted me and my sisters to help around the house more, especially washing the dishes but my dad not only did not care but he did the dishes himself which always pissed off my mom. For this reason we kinda liked our dad more, which also pissed my mom off. They argued constantly about this. So I liked all the freedom. So my upbringing was more in the middle between “free” and"strict". Now you can read lots of places where it says all the benefits of families sitting down to meals together and eating together with no cell phones, or TV or music playing. This is one area where my parents followed it to a tee.We always ate together. I liked it.
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My Dad never would answer the phone during suppertime. and back then you didn’t know who called if the phone rang.