In this Easter I have not felt good

I do not why is that. I typically start sleeping early at 7-8 PM and wake up early, today at 5 AM, but when I wake up I feel little depressed. I have my morning walks and bicycle riding and during the day this slight depression is gone, but still I have not felt so good in this weekend.

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I have not felt great either. I have been quite low
Some of it due to menstrual cycle
Being lonely

Going go to the gym soon might help

I cried this morning. I struggled to get up and was late for breakfast for 15 minutes. I feel so handicappied. Mom was away I am by myself everyday. I feel unwell every time I receive their pictures. My mom was playing around and dinning every day with my sisters and other relatives. I’m not invited to any of them and was idled at home.

Cheer up Goggles. Things are going to get better.

I wore my never before worn white coat and white shirt for purification from sexual ideation. All in a manner of speaking to the world in a Buddhist manner.

Easter has been hard on me the last couple years, since my step dads mom died really, because she always had Easter dinner at her house and she always had something nice to say to me. She was the only one who visited me in the hospital when I tried to starve myself to death…she came and was the only person who could get me to eat with being fed with a tube…

There’s always ups and downs with this disease. But did you change anything?

I am feeling quite good in this afternoon, but in the mornings when I wake up I feel little depressed. I do not know why is that. I have had some negative thoughts recently, but I try to overcome these. I exercise quite a lot which helps.

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