In the big city, you don't count

I drove downtown today, I went out to breakfast with my housemate. It’s a city of a million. Basically, you get treated like you’re in the way. People stare right through you or walk into you like you’re not even there. They’re doing road work and construction everywhere and there’s lots of one way streets and it’s confusing. Not to mention every two- bit hood who thinks he knows something who is vagually
threatening. But the foods good here, kind of depressing but the weather was good today too.

I’m missing my mom sorely today. My heart aches when I think of her last days in the hospital. Me and my sisters and my step-dad tried to stay at her bedside but we couldn’t be there 24 hours a day, And when I think of her when she had to be alone in the impersonal hospital room by herself, all alone before she died it was just so sad. My mom was a great person. She put out the effort to be a good mom, she had lots of friends, she was kind to strangers and children and she was VERY,VERY, intelligent. I just had to get this out. Thanks.

Oh yeah, at her funeral there were 40 or 50 people there because relatives from both sides of the family were there plus all the people who knew her. I got up in front of all of them and gave a 7 minute talk about my mom and how I will remember her. People came up to me afterward and told me I did a good job.


I’m sorry about your Mom’s passing. I just choose to think of it as the end of old age suffering…No more pain. I gave them best I had and vise versa, and choose to remember some happy moments.

I’m in 500k city, it isn’t home anymore as I watch some really bad stuff happen, so many scams, bad cops, screwed out of jobs, violent crimes never investigated…I’m anonymous some of the time, thought broadcast harassed the rest. I like the bigger cities better, more opportunities and predictable crazinesses. (The city up the road is a ‘planned’ community so the crazy stuff is kind of predictable. However, my smaller city is a doorway to hell still…)

I’m working on moving to small town and honey, I can tell you some of these small towns are actually a sick little place with a thug who makes whores of some who move there, strikes some will illness at the small town DR, and gets some fired plus no cops left who do anything… No one really ‘cares’ in the country either unless you (pay it forward) a lot without looking desperate or looking like a welfare bum. Never speak up, look like you work hard and play it friendly here, plus hope and pray. Go in alone to some smaller communities and IT WILL RUIN YOU.

your mum’s hospital room was not empty… it was filled with your familys’ love. :heart:
and good on you for getting up and talking in front of them .
take care :alien:


Man, @77nick77 you have my heart. I can’t imagine losing my own mom. I can’t imagine living in a big city either. I lived in Phoenix and I kept to my house mostly. I hope you find peace with your mom’s death. I love you.


Thanks darksith, you’re a kind soul.

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Thanks Jukebox.

O wow 77nick I didn’t know sorry.
Puts everything in perspective.
Peace to you

I really feel for you Nick - its hard losing your Mother.

I am sure that you will be back on track in no time.

May you find some peace.

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Thanks for taking the time to write.

Sorry for your loss Nick.

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I have a feeling your Mom knew she was loved. She and your Dad sound like very amazing people…

She’s still with your family… and all the people she touched…

It’s a hard loss, and I hope things start going better for you soon.


I count many things in the big city. This is a lie that i do not count.

Don’t tell me this town ain’t got no heart nick, just have to poke around.


**So glad you spoke at your Moms passing. That was brave. When my Mom passed, I couldnt get up to speak. Thankfully, others did.
My heart is with you :heart: **

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Sending (((hugs)))



Peace Nick pls take care of yourself

I will do my best and more. Thank you.

Are you feeling OK pansdisease? This is actually a positive post from you. I’m worried about you.


im not sorry I am glad that your ma moved to a better place…I am sorry for your fellings about the whole thing.