In the Beginning I Wanted the Voices & I Made Them Stay

[DMAdataANDmoodanalysis]

Now I have the voices…

…

…

…annnnnd now I know.

[Om_Sadasiva]

how did you make them stay?

[zenmind]

I do kinda miss a couple of the voices, but definitely not most of them

[DMAdataANDmoodanalysis]

I kept believing in things that were typical of classic religions, that were typical of superstitious beliefs, parts of movies, and making beliefs up like cults. I was using mj frequently for a few years which made the pretending a lot easier. I was a lost as a fish in Manhattan back then.

The main thing was the beliefs and paradigmatic world view, self view, and view of what I and others brains could do. I was really pulling for the fake stuff to be real and true because I was hard up and lost without purpose or direction.

It was in everything I did from the way I walked to what I thought when I heard people or saw things as simple as a street or a store sign. I was doing and reading all kinds of this make believe supernatural bs wih the universe in every way possible.

Even my thoughts and experiences I would constantly knit pick and scan like they were messages from spirit things, telepathic people, or the universe itself. I mean I was really groping for straws back then.

It was like I needed help, and so this is the only way I knew to look for it, and the more I looked for it this way, the more I needed help because this was only making me fail life, fail my bills, fail my relationships, and fail myself until I had no more self esteem. But I kept going that way the worse I got, and the cycle continued downward.

No, when I was having voices and experiencing the hocus pocus belief stuff while high and so on, I wanted it to stay and be real. Nothing was more important to a loser than that.

Now I can’t get rid of it.

[Skinnyme1]

Same thing happened to me. All my life, all I had was paranoia, delusions and severe depression with suicidal ideations. No voices or hallucinations of any kind. My doctors always asked me about voices and I always had to answer in the negative. Finally, in my mid forties, I began hearing mumbling like voices and seeing scary shadow like human figures following me around. I finally knew what my doctors were talking about. I didn’t want them to stay though. I told my doctor about it all and he made them go away with meds.