I’m pretty funny in real life. I have quite solid social skills, they were excellent before my onset and I had to relearn them. I like making people laugh involuntarily. I like laughing too. It adds a different color to a life full of pain and struggle. Just laughter. A Duchenne smile. Seeing people do these things because of me makes me feel content.
I mean the pain never really goes away. It’s always there- the mornings and nights are the worst for me. I wake up feeling like my brains are scrambled eggs. I go to sleep after a couple or few hours of talking to myself and hallucinations and delusions. Just to be around people and make them laugh and smile makes me do so in return.