"I'm too ugly to have kids."

That’s some of the negative self-talk I grew up with.


I’ll bet you’re fine. The vast majority of people don’t care at all whether you’re Hollywood-pretty or not. If you have an obvious defect that a plastic surgeon is willing to treat, go for it. Otherwise, people notice how you move, talk, carry yourself, whether you’re physically fit, whether you do your job well and have useful skills and how you treat others. Focus here and talk with your physician about your feelings.

The overwhelming determinant of good looks for both men and women is physical fitness. This is completely under your control and you know it. If you have a severe deformity that surgery can correct, extreme defects can be Rx’d by surgery. Otherwise, get/stay fit, be nice to everyone, be a productive member of society, love responsibly, and people will call you “unconventionally handsome/pretty” instead.

If you’re obsessed with the idea that some part of your body is really ugly, and people tell you that these concerns are unrealistic, it’s possible that you have body dysmorphic disorder. It’s a cruel trick that the mind plays on us, and your physician can teach you how to see through it. Please talk with him/her.

1 Like

I have a welt on my head given to me in infancy when a doctor treated a hemangioma by burning it. I could neither smile nor talk well. It shaped my entire social life in a negative way. It’s why I kick doctors around (in print)…Furthermore, I could never trust a doctor long enough to have a kid.

I will never have any kids, They could inherit my illnesses, If someday I get cured of OCD and other illnesses, maybe I would adopt.

1 Like

I have other reasons, too. Besides the sz and the hemangioma, my paternal grandparents were first cousins. Not a strong move to make.

I can guarantee that there are some people who think you look just fine. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and whatever disfigurement the meds have done to you has been done to others. I knew a rather obese woman who had a boyfriend who looked like what Drew Carrey looked like when he was more obese. They were fine with each other. There are also thinner guys who live with obese women and the opposite as well. No one is truly too ugly for love or children.

1 Like

I live with the provider’s 7 year old granddaughter and I know from experience that I never would have been smart or willing enough to predict what kids innocently get into and do. I think nature made me incapable of having kids, anyway.

No one is saying you have to have kids. I don’t want them either. My siblings’ kids are and were pains in the tookus as much as they are joys, and they are more responsibility than I can handle.

1 Like

Besuty is inside and the inside shows.


Genetics is strange! You’d be surprised how cute kids are born from ugly parents! I’m not saying anyone is ugly but I’m saying their kids are really cute!

Don’t sell yourself short!


I’m too ugly to have kids really but I had one and he was movie star handsome. Everybody said so and it was true. The girls would melt when they saw him. After he was diagnosed paranoid sz, he was put on medications and gained 75 lbs. and wasn’t as handsome to the girls anymore. This fact devastated him. And I think it was part of the many reasons for his suicide.

1 Like

Pics or didn’t happen

Ditto. I worried about that too.

I don’t have the skill to post pictures. Sorry.

I was joking lol

1 Like

This topic was automatically closed 90 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.