What a viscous cycle. The same suicidal routine for over a year. I’m having a hard time getting a job. I have court Friday and this will be my third time going empty handed. I.can’t step away from these things. I just have to try harder…but what if it doesn’t even matter? How do I get back to the sunshine road. I kinda want you . I want to live that good sunny life. Right now it’s ehhh not as dark as 2014/2015 so that’s good. I want myself, turned into I want you. I have notebooks filled with the same to do list. It’s been going on for years. I came to the conclusion that it could be characteristics of ocd. I just want to get away
It’s important to know the proper way to change. It’s small baby steps. One thing at a time, gradually. If you try too much too quickly you’ll get burned out and fall into the same habits over and over again. Once you find a comfortable groove you can add more and more to change and once you see a glimpse of light, it’s addicting and you never want to go back. That doesn’t mean there won’t be bad days, but you have to tell yourself ‘no’. For me when I feel myself slipping I say to myself, “I won’t go back to the low that has and will drain my life and time so.”
Thanks. Greatly appreciated
Hold on to this. Tell yourself that in another year you will look back and say that it’s not as bad as it was in 2016. Start small though, just go day by day, week by week.
I’m sorry you are feeling stuck in this at the moment. It’s an awful feeling and a difficult way to live. I really hope you pull through and see some more sunshine. take care
How do I get out
You have to push back against the walls caving in on you. Like I said, small changes over time. It might seem like you’re not making enough progress, but this is for the long term. If you push too hard right away you’ll tire yourself out, get burned out on change, and revert to old bad habits. Just small pushes and eventually it starts steam rolling, gaining momentum, and you can add in more changes and push harder, but start small.
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