I'm starting a new path

I’m starting a new journal for recovery.

I am going to write down all the things (with in reason) that Sz has taken from me and then I’m either going to try it again or figure out how to get it back.

I’m not going to list… “SZ took away my ability to be an astronaut.” because if I was never sick, I’d probably not be and astronaut anyway.

But it did strip me of many things I used to like and care about. So I’m going to list it and see if I can try it again and get it back.

Number one just off the top of my head is camping. I used to LOVE to camp. Then I ended up homeless, drunk and rabid and had no choice. But now I’m stable and not homeless.

Camping season is opening soon. I’m going to try just a day. Just a Saturday to Sunday camp out in a camp ground near by. Just to see if I can get my love of that back.

Then I will try to see if I can get my love of something else back. Step by step. I should mention I won’t be going camping alone. My brother Jack said he’d go to. So if it all falls apart I’ll have some help.


My athleticism is part of my recovery- I was always very fit, and now powerlifting is part of my recovery- it helps to literally be strong, it is a good thing to remember when I feel like I am cursed and feel down.


I’ve been listing everything that will go into this 24 hour camp idea.

  1. I want to plan it just to prove to myself I can have follow through

  2. I have to leave my kid sis home alone for 24 hours… and not be paranoid that kidnappers are going to get her. So I’ll ask our neighbor to look in on her, or just try and trust that a 17 year old sis will be safe for the night… which is a huge leap in my paranoia and trust issue

  3. I’ll have to pack gear… that will test the organization

  4. I have to figure out how to make reservations… planning ahead.

I will do this… but it’s going to be more challenging then I thought. But I’ll have help and I will do this. My brother said he won’t let me back out.

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My goal is to deadlift 475, bench 265 and squat 375- I am getting close! My current records are deadlift 465, bench 250 and squat 325x5, I havent tried a one rep max squat in a while. Given that I squatted 325 five times, the trainers who spotted me and filmed it said that my 1rm should be around 365 now. I squatted deeper than is required for competitions, also, so just getting my hips parallel to the floor should be easy, I have been squatting well below parallel.

I tried to post a video of my squats from tuesday but apparently this site doesn’t allow iphone videos to be uploaded.


I’d to love to just rough it out there with a bivvy a campfire and warm blankets of course. Ever since SZ affected me I keep telling myself I can’t.

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good gains my friend. I have a video of me benching 275x3. 475 is ten plates right? Yeah that is a lot of weight. I just started deadlifting 315 the other day. For not many reps. I just hit legs the other day and I forgot how good it felt. Core strength.

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Camping is so fun but I haven’t done it in years. Don’t forget the marshmallows to toast over the campfire! I hope you have a good time.

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Yea man I’d love to go camping Tybee island. Its great to watch the pink sunset sun rise. But yeah J your plan sounds legit. Go out there and do it man.

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ten plates plus the bar is 495. I hope to be hitting a 495 deadlift within a year