I’m so stressed out.
I have to take so many exams and certificates just to get a job. It’s so different from the environment I grew up in. I focused on getting the best grades in college when I was growing up. But here, it’s so hard to get a job and you have to take a million tests just to succeed in getting employed outside of studying in college. I know that this is just a cultural thing, but it’s so different from how I grew up. The cultural difference is so heavy on me and I get it, I was born here but being raised elsewhere for nearly a fraction of your life really impacted my cultural struggle with my identity. I feel burnt out- having to constantly study for certificates and not getting any breaks, even after surgery. I am trying to rest as much as I can but I know that resting isn’t going to get me jobs when I’m going to be graduating next Summer. Honestly I’m not entirely sure if I can cope with so much stress without crashing mentally or physically. This world is definitely not built for a neurodivergent person, and I hate that. I know that I have to satisfy the expectations of my parents by succeeding as a disabled person and I cry every night thinking “what if I can’t”…I’m so tired.