Schizophrenia.com

I'm scared

Ever since I got onto the meds, everything I ever did - my every little action and thought and word reinforced the fact that I have mental illness.

So if I go tell my GP that I feel happy I’m scared of what she’s going to say. I don’t feel “manic” per se, however I do feel really a different person altogether. It’s like I’m not me anymore. I should be happy but I’m worried. I made 3 friends, can you believe they all asked me my number which has never happened before. Everyone said I appear more confident. But I’m scared of whether this is good or bad thing.

Dont be afraid to feel happy. I think anyone who has had a serious thought disorder goes through a period of transition when they start to feel " normal". If you were very young when first diagnosed-your frame of reference maybe back to that time. Example: When my sis was diagnosed, she was already living a full life on her own--I think she was mid 30s? When she started to get better, she knew what was normal for her, and she was desperate to get back to her life. She had many years when she was feeling good-she knew what to look for.
My son was diagnosed at 19–thats his frame of reference. Hope this makes sense. Dont be afraid to tell the pdoc. Just say that you feel good

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I was feeling normal, then I have a brief period of some sort psychosis reminding me oh yeah I’m not normal.

I faced the same problem as you, Dont worry, It is a good sign.

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I don’t think your going manic at all. Making some new friends is a good thing. It’s a whole new feeing to get used to.

I had to get used to my new energy when the seroquel got cut back. It was sort of dizzying how fast I was waking up and feeling a whole new personality shift… or more like finding my old pre-onset self.

I was a bit afraid that I was going into positive symptom, but when this new found energy leveled out and I still hadn’t done anything manic or red flag behavior… I could remember what I did the day before… I finally got used to it.

Be patient with yourself and enjoy the fact that your feeling good. If you ever feel like your spinning out of control, don’t be afraid to talk to someone who can help you keep in check.

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It’s being scared of a good thing. To have a good thing is to risk losing it. That’s why it’s called “taking a chance on love”.

Making new friends is great. However I forgot to memtion memory loss, say im in the middle of something i’ll lose track of where i was and forget. i also book hospital appointments and I feel the need to keep checking the printer if I printed app letters or not. i feel something is defo wrong.

I’d say… if you feel something is wrong and it’s causing you concern, you might want to find someone to just talk and find a coping tool for memory and maybe slowing down the thoughts a little bit.

You might just need some new ideas on how to get used to this energy due to no meds. I personally need meds and I’m never anti-med. But I have met some people who manage with low doses or no meds… but they do have a very strong support system in place and a very good therapist they trust. Or they do hypnotherapy or ECT or have something else in place.

If anything is causing you concern and making you not feel right, you are correct, you should address it. I hope you find that balance between feeing good and feeling scared.

I’m not trying to be unsupportive or be a wet blanket on your good feelings, but you might want to see if a low dose can take the edge off that scared feeling.

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Yeah I agree I might have to go back on meds again. But I kinda disagree because Abilify actually gave me more energy and now i’m off it it’s slipping i can tell I don’t do much at work. Well not as much as I did anyway.

So now I’m more well off socially but worse of mentally.

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I hate that there is no happy medium with all this head circus. I have those periods where it’s all one way or the other, never a little bit of good from each section.

Sorry you have to go through this. There are ways to learn social skills. They can be learned and reinforced. So just because you go back on meds doesn’t mean you resume past situations.

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