Im scared for my future ngl

I have no future ahead of me. I dont want kids most likely will never meet anyone. Once my family dies ill have no one. I have no friends. I only have a sister and we arent really close. Im terrified because this illness has wrecked what little chance of a future ill ever have. Most people have aspirations and careers they would like to do in the future i have nothing. No aspirations no future career choices ect. Im not smart at all. I have severe dyslexia. All i can see for my self is years worth of struggle and torment. I dont know what to do anymore because everyone else has at least one thing going for them even if they cant see it.

I have nothing. My life was wrecked from the moment i set foot on this earth. No one is going to want me at all. And im tired of trying to better myself. I always end up back at square one because im not good at anything. At this point im actually afraid of my future tbh.

I dont really want to die but i dont want to live with nothing going for me. I really am scared and i dont know what to do.

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I have no friends, plans, future or prospects either. I don’t care if I die but I’m not going to hurry it along either. I would say that I am mostly content with life.

It’s pretty heartbreaking to hear someone talk like that.

Lets start with the basics.

What meds are you on? And are you on any antidepressant?

“Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.”

~ Japanese Proverb

No im not on an antidepressant. But i am on Zyprexia whcih seems to be working for me im on 7.5 because im pretty sensitive to antipsychotics. I get eye rolling which i know will prevent me from driving. So i feel pretty trapped in my own situation. I cant come off antipsychotics i came off the 3 times and relapsed.

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Im also having a pretty low sense of self at the minute because i have put on weight. And i have stress wrinkles from my third relapse. It has all taken a toll on me

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Did you report that to your doctor?

Does your doctor know about your feelings of hopelessness for the future?

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I think it’s time to vent, I’m listening too…

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I have but then they just give you more meds with more side affects

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I feel like that most of time…

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You’ve got to tell them you’re feeling hopeless about the future. That’s a big deal.

Maybe they can give you an antidepressant, or occupational therapy, or other talk therapy.

You need more help but you won’t get it without asking.

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