Where to even begin?
I have suffered from mood disturbances most of my life, especially since adolescence. I’ve been to various doctors since 1999 to try and deal with this, and I’ve been puzzling over a diagnosis of Bi-Polar since then. In recent years, Unipolar Depression has been the go-to diagnosis but knowing what I know and feeling what I feel, I can’t imagine that’s the whole story. I have self-medicated with alcohol (no party drugs, not even Pot) and have tried numerous medications (Geodon, Seroquil, and Lamictal) over the years, but the only one I’ve ever been on for any length of time is Lamictal, which I am not currently on and am curious to get back on.
I have very recently had an MRI of my brain and the only abnormality is a small cyst on my brain that, according to my neuro is not a cause for concern.
I had a total nervous breakdown in 2004 with auditory hallucinations and paranoia. Current symptoms include: paranoia, dream-like quality to everyday life and time displacement. The time displacement is the WORST.
It should be noted that I have been under an incredible amount of stress over the past 18 months, but I have been under more before then.
First time to these forums, but I would very much like to start a dialogue. Have an appointment for a psychiatrist in October, but trying to find one that takes my insurance ahead of that.
Help. Please. Dark thoughts are occurring. Maybe not desperate yet, but the darkness is encroaching.