I really wanted to think I don’t have schizophrenia but now either I’m scaring myself into it or I’m becoming psychotic both worsened because of stress. I am trying to snap myself out of it but it seems like a waste if when I think I’m ok people don’t or hate me just because I do think. I feel abused. I’m getting so depressed I’ve never felt more depressed than today when I texted someone in my contact list and they threatened me when I had no idea who it is then I got this painful feeling in my chest and almost passed out I’ve never felt hated so much. Why do people hate me so much it’s like people are sick and it’s the same as racism and homophobia because if someone knows you have this illness than its easy to target you and manipulate you and discriminate. I was banned from a bar here. I feel like his because I told people now they treat me worse I didn’t think so much shallowness existed it’s like my hometown decided one day to turn on me and people just ruined my life and took everything from me! I have been kept in West Virginia against my will for too long with no idea of a direction no responsibilities or role models or anything to base my life off other than people here I loved NYC and all the places I visited I thought maybe I’m just depressed but I think West Virginia is his crazy making lol I hated moving here id rather be in ghetto Pittsburgh than trashy West Virginia…I missed that. I can’t think of anyone who isn’t dumb in these here parts.
Step back from the edge of the cliff. Breathe consciously for a while. Just pay attention to the breath coming in and going back out. Stay with that, and the fight or flight will begin to take care of itself.
Because the autonomic nervous system is genetically programmed to do that if the insula (a part of the limbic system) stops beating on the amygdala (another part), and the amugdala stops whacking on the hypothalamus.
Breathing consciously, focusing all the attention you can on the breath, will do that. It may take a while. But however long it takes me, it always turns the vocal volume down.
Panicking? Do you have any benzos?
I just don’t panic. I’m not predisposed to panic. I have been scared, but I never panic. After they put me on Xanax I quit getting scared shitless. The propranolol helps too. I’ve been in car wrecks and ■■■■ and stayed unusually calm and then remained calm afterwards. I enjoy danger. I’ve been in fights- martial artist. Never panicked. Got injured, kept fighting. Both on and off meds. Before and after my onset.
Benzos really are made for panic attacks. You sound like you need one right now. Perhaps call your doc and say it’s an emergency and they may prescribe you a little klonopin for acute exacerbation of psychosis or whatever is wrong with your brain.
I hope you feel better today…
You might want to talk to your doc or therapist… just to talk… just to get some stuff off your chest.
I’m sorry your panicking… there is a lot of good left in the world… but when I panic… I don’t see it any more.
Good luck and I’m rooting for you
My Dad lived in W. Virginia for 5 years working for a radio station. The town was pretty strange.
Hope you are feeling better today @StarryNight
WV is another world. Especially if one got accustomed to Manhattan. (I could do Pluto more easily.)
Hi starry night i’m panicking too. Feeling i’m going through psychosis and i’m afraid about what i will think. Sometimes i feel hated by my intrusive thoughts.I hope u will find love where u found hatred. I pray with you today, tonight that u will find peace.
I went with my dad to the ER because I started hearing voices and couldn’t sleep. When I got there I didn’t know what to say and burst out crying. I didn’t want to tell them I’d been hearing stuff but it’s mostly because I was tired and they didn’t seem to think I was psychotic or needed hospitalized.
They gave me ambien and Benadryl I went home and fell asleep I didn’t wake up once last night so I feel a lot better. I called my psychiatrist and left a voicemail that I need to go back on abilify since it’s worked for so long and also seems to regulate my sleep.
It’s weird though because I was given a paper on major depressive disorder. I don’t think antidepressants are right for me they always make me more depressed or manic and the side effects are worse too.
I do feel so much better though thank you all for the support!!