Before I was on medication,
I was not super stable, but things were pretty predictable.
To keep things from getting super weird, I got stoned, a lot.
Now, I’m on almost no weed, have been on the Abilify shot three months, now am on Zoloft and Xanex.
My auditory/visual hallucinations are noticeably reduced, but still not gone enough,
The Abilify has made my anxiety so bad that I’ve started some weird OCD routines I haven’t done in YEARS.
Saying phrases, touching things, covering my ears to block out internal voices.
Despite this, my husband still thinks I’m doing better. He says I look less “haunted”.
I don’t think I’m better off now than I was four months ago before I started treatment.
Its very confusing because I want to see this through, but I’m miserable,
Which is also new.
Is three months long enough to call it with Abilify and maybe switch medications?
Should I be just tacking on new medications to combat side effects of APs?
I’m worried about the effects these medications are having on my body and starting to lose faith in the whole establishment.
I want to go back, but I don’t want to disappoint my husband.