might be good to see your friend but only if you are able, i have to pay for parking at my clubhouse and its draining my money 
its over £8 a day been there about 3 times this week
I’m glad you were able to visit your friend. I hope you continue to feel better.
If you do feel suicidal, please go to the ER before the feelings spiral out of control.
Also, please do NOT act on your thoughts of “buying some strong rope, …, just in case I end up needing it”. Acting on suicidal thoughts can be a split-second decision, so its important to NOT have the means readily available. This buys you the time to change your mind and to save your precious life.
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