I keep going to verge of tears, which is pretty significant, considering I never cry. Hell, I didn’t even cry when my dad died four years ago. I feel like a little bitch.
“I’m not doing well” is what I say to people when I’m feeling suicidal. I’m not to the point of needing a hospital just yet. I use the hospital as an absolute last resort, been there too many times. If nothing else, I need to get my dog to my ex so she would be cared for. I would do that before taking myself out, anyway. I’ve had thoughts of buying some strong rope, something that would suspend at least 180 lbs, just in case I end up needing it, but I know that would be a mistake. So I guess I’m not bad enough to go to the ER.
I told my friend that I’m not doing well, and he told me he’s home, that I could come over. My only real friend. He lives about 40 miles from me, though. I don’t know about doing all that driving right now, not to mention burning about $6 worth of gas to go there and back, but I suppose it would be worth it, regardless of how tight money is right now.
Totally think you should go stay with your friend right now. You’ve been through a lot, and it’s understandable that your perspective is utterly shot right now. Be with someone who cares about you and sees your value. You’ve been too long with people - including you - who don’t always get it.
Yeah, I have that suicide hotline in my phone contacts, though I’ve never actually used it. My sort-of friend who is a psych NP posted on facebook about a suicide hotline that one can text to, I’d be more likely to use that, as I hate talking on phones.
Yeah, my ex and I are on good terms, and she has already told me I could come visit her. I have a cat that I love, that I don’t think I would have to give up if I moved into my friend’s house. My cat is a sweetheart, and certainly easier to care for than a dog, but she doesn’t get all crazy excited to see me when I come home, doesn’t camp out in my lap either, the way my dog does.
Thats good! It’s always nice to have some company around but you are right dogs are sweet like that.
I’m really sorry things haven’t gone according to plan for you, I really hope you get your teaching job back. It sounded like it was low stress/stable work.
I wish there was more we could do. If you lived in the Portland/Vancouver area I’d go get a coffee with you. We could hide from life. Everyone needs someone to hide with once in a while.
Hello, same boat rough waters. People are right spending time with someone who genuinely cares for you is probably the most effective way to alleviate the ol kablooies. I don’t know your financial situation but if appropriate you ought to head to your friend’s chill, but before that go buy some paintball guns or fireworks or the two man zebra costume and bust in their pad screaming about how the zebra home planet’s in danger and you need your back legs to save Zorba the zebra princess. That is absolutely a tremendous effort and given your present state of mind an impossible sounding effort. Maybe it is, I don’t know, would be fun though and worth it considering that would inevitably lead to one of the most interesting days of what sounds like has been a series of miserable/depressed days.
What’s got you down anyways champ, it’s gonna be better tomorrow right? Don’t let life beat you down, Down into the ground? ■■■■ wait that’s falling away from me. How do freakonleash’s lyrics go? Eh ■■■■ either way the most important thing is to not dwell, avoid dwelling. On what’s got you at whit’s end. Because dwelling means to hyper analyze which leads to overly negative criticism which essentially and effectively PTSD’s the ■■■■ out of an issue. But yeah man, feel better hombre thoughts n prayers sent with advice n lice.
Not too long a go you were going to move in with family.
You had not one but two break ins followed by not getting the drs note on time, all the job stress followed job loss.
That is a h#ll of a lot to deal with.
If you dont find a job soon consider moving in with family as sn alternative to suicide??
I mean, my family sucks too, but you’ll only have to put up with it for a little while.
Plus if they are that annoying, think of all the motivation you ll have to do what ever is needed to get outtathere.
I know last time you were going to move, you said would have to give up your pet. Maybe ask someone to just take care of your pet while you live with family?
After you things worked out and less stressfull you can move out with your pet again after your back on your feet.
My sister is my only family left, both parents and all grandparents are deceased, and she has a husband and four kids at home. No way I could stay there. It would have to be at my friend’s house. I would give my dog to my ex, since we actually got her together, but I’m not sure she would want it to be temporary. My ex loves my dog and will want to keep her. It’s only fair, I’ve had her all this time since the breakup nearly two years ago.
I went to my friend’s house, just got home a little bit ago. It helped, I feel a little better. There’s no telling how I’ll feel tomorrow, but for right now I’m feeling a little better.
