I’ve been ranting at females. I haven’t meant to, but I’ve been loosing what I say. I remember talking, but I don’t remember exactly what has been babbling out of my mouth. Last night I just didn’t feel very connected to myself and my mouth took off with out my head. Last night I felt like a little dog trying to be a big dog and everyone just patting me on the head instead of listening to my bark.
First, my kid sis wanted to go watch the sunset. I was just off work, that sounded like a good thing to do. So I decided to come too. My plant killing neighbor also wanted to come. We get to the little hill and there was a tomcat lurking, due to meet up with my sis. My plant killing neighbor kept trying to tell me… Your sis is 17, she’s allowed to kiss boys.
Not on the first date she’s not. I chaperone her first dates and no, she’s not going to do any of that on a first date. My sis then told me this wasn’t a first date. That kicked in my over protective/ parental problem. I sat between my sis and this tomcat and made sure there was NO TOUCHING. On the walk home my sister stomped off ahead and my neighbor was telling me about how I am handling my sis wrong. Ok, I was getting a bit miffed to say the least.
I then told my neighbor how it is. Why it is, and why I protect my sis. I lost track of the words falling out of my mouth but I was trying to rely that for me, this is serious. I’m trying to keep her safe from harm, and kidnappers and I do not like it when people make her cry. Boys always seem to make her cry. That was what I was trying to say. My neighbor stood in front of me and said half way through my rant… “You are so sweet.” Then she kissed me. (I’m not trying to be sweet. I’m trying to keep tomcats away from my sister. Why are you kissing me for that?)
Second, my sister-in-law came over with the kids. Her life has been turbulent for a while. Living with my “successful” brother hasn’t been much of a success. As she began to talk to my sis, she also began to cry. I took the kids to shoot some hoops in the parking lot so they don’t have to stand there and watch their Mom fall apart.
My plant killing neighbor stayed and listened to my sister-in-law too. So it was becoming a Ya Ya sisterhood deal and my Y chromosome was feeing very out of place.
When the all clear was sounded we all hung out of a while and I tried to tell my sister-in-law that she’s got the brains and resources to do what she wants. Either stay with my bro and make it work, or leave him and make it work, she’ll make it work no matter what. As long as I still get to see my nephews and nieces I’d gladly help if I can. I was trying to relay that she’s got the brains and the spine, it will work out. She jumped up and said “You are so nice to people.” then she kissed me. (No, I’m not trying to be nice, I’m trying to talk you into standing up for yourself. Why are you kissing me?)
Then my own sis and I talked after everyone left and my sis wants me to start loosening my grip. I don’t like that but I’m going to have to. I do know that. I was getting in a bit of rant, not really paying attention to what was coming out of my mouth, just trying to convey that old habits die hard and it’s not easy watching someone you’ve raised like a kid grow up and move on. I don’t know how I was saying it exactly but my sis got up, stopped my mosh pacing and said, “You are so the best.” and then she kissed me on the cheek. (No, I’m not trying to be the best. I’m trying to tell you how dangerous the world is and why I do what I do. Why are you kissing me on the cheek for that?)
What is up with all this?
I’m not complaining, I’m just so confused.