I'm not complaining, I'm just so confused

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I’ve been ranting at females. I haven’t meant to, but I’ve been loosing what I say. I remember talking, but I don’t remember exactly what has been babbling out of my mouth. Last night I just didn’t feel very connected to myself and my mouth took off with out my head. Last night I felt like a little dog trying to be a big dog and everyone just patting me on the head instead of listening to my bark.

First, my kid sis wanted to go watch the sunset. I was just off work, that sounded like a good thing to do. So I decided to come too. My plant killing neighbor also wanted to come. We get to the little hill and there was a tomcat lurking, due to meet up with my sis. My plant killing neighbor kept trying to tell me… Your sis is 17, she’s allowed to kiss boys.

Not on the first date she’s not. I chaperone her first dates and no, she’s not going to do any of that on a first date. My sis then told me this wasn’t a first date. That kicked in my over protective/ parental problem. I sat between my sis and this tomcat and made sure there was NO TOUCHING. On the walk home my sister stomped off ahead and my neighbor was telling me about how I am handling my sis wrong. Ok, I was getting a bit miffed to say the least.

I then told my neighbor how it is. Why it is, and why I protect my sis. I lost track of the words falling out of my mouth but I was trying to rely that for me, this is serious. I’m trying to keep her safe from harm, and kidnappers and I do not like it when people make her cry. Boys always seem to make her cry. That was what I was trying to say. My neighbor stood in front of me and said half way through my rant… “You are so sweet.” Then she kissed me. (I’m not trying to be sweet. I’m trying to keep tomcats away from my sister. Why are you kissing me for that?)

Second, my sister-in-law came over with the kids. Her life has been turbulent for a while. Living with my “successful” brother hasn’t been much of a success. As she began to talk to my sis, she also began to cry. I took the kids to shoot some hoops in the parking lot so they don’t have to stand there and watch their Mom fall apart.
My plant killing neighbor stayed and listened to my sister-in-law too. So it was becoming a Ya Ya sisterhood deal and my Y chromosome was feeing very out of place.

When the all clear was sounded we all hung out of a while and I tried to tell my sister-in-law that she’s got the brains and resources to do what she wants. Either stay with my bro and make it work, or leave him and make it work, she’ll make it work no matter what. As long as I still get to see my nephews and nieces I’d gladly help if I can. I was trying to relay that she’s got the brains and the spine, it will work out. She jumped up and said “You are so nice to people.” then she kissed me. (No, I’m not trying to be nice, I’m trying to talk you into standing up for yourself. Why are you kissing me?)

Then my own sis and I talked after everyone left and my sis wants me to start loosening my grip. I don’t like that but I’m going to have to. I do know that. I was getting in a bit of rant, not really paying attention to what was coming out of my mouth, just trying to convey that old habits die hard and it’s not easy watching someone you’ve raised like a kid grow up and move on. I don’t know how I was saying it exactly but my sis got up, stopped my mosh pacing and said, “You are so the best.” and then she kissed me on the cheek. (No, I’m not trying to be the best. I’m trying to tell you how dangerous the world is and why I do what I do. Why are you kissing me on the cheek for that?)

What is up with all this? :kiss:

I’m not complaining, I’m just so confused.

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Thank you for getting me over my bad mood this morning :sunny:

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I think kisses do make u feel confused. It happens. All the time. I hope u have a good kiss.

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I’m glad I could help… your not going to kiss me are you? :wink:
Small coffee humor there.

I’m not used to being kissed so much… but I can hear a 100 voices in the atmosphere shouting… “yeah… if only THAT was my problem” :kiss:

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U are going to get a lot more kisses with that ~ oh no

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Goggles,

I’m glad to see you again. How have you been with all the jobs and life and the beauty of the Hong Kong harbor?

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Hi James, thanks for asking. The employer offered me with a full time job in the back office. I estimated the transportation would take more than 3.5 hrs everyday. I would not be able to do that. So I didn’t take it. I need to find another job. I think I better do a part time only. So I am giving myself a break. I sleep a lot.

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Your delivery must be really good because if it wasn’t you wouldn’t be getting all those kisses. Kisses are very nice :kissing_cat:

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SurprisedJ, good morning. I have one question. Do you expect her not to kiss ANYONE? Girls her age (and every age! ) like to kiss guys. It’s natural. Even if it’s just fooling around with someone who they are just physically attracted to but don’t necessarily see as a boyfriend.
What’s that saying? It’s like trying to turn back the tides or stop the ocean or something. I think she wants to pick who she wants to kiss. I mean it’s admirable that you worry about her and try to protect her and you’ve probably saved her from some jerks in the past. But I think you see EVERY guy as a jerk. (And you may be right!) You have good intentions and it’s good that you have weeded out the people who made her cry. But what 17 year old girl isn’t interested in boys? Anyway, you have two women kiss you in one night? Feel lucky. Sheesh, I haven’t even shaken a girls hand in 6 months except I hugged my nephews wife at Christmas.Sheesh. Lol.

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Thank you for that… :blush:

I guess girls just can’t resist panic babble. :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Sometimes I think they were just giving me a kiss to throw me off and stop the rant. I’ve seen my Mom do this to my Dad when he gets emphatic. Maybe I’m just powerless against the cunning of the female mind.

There was some comic who did this routine about how “Remember… women are clever, cunning, sophisticated, quick thinking and fast talking and YOU… you poor sod, are just a man.”

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So far, I haven’t met any who aren’t. I go with my sis on her first dates and then they prove they are a jerk by not calling her ever again. Which is fine by me, but it hurts her feelings. Proving the guy was a jerk.

Just because there was no kissing or getting to “Second base” on the first date, they cast her aside.
I’m glad I was there to show her what jerks they were.

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I dont mean to sound like the voice of satan here, but at her age she should be allowed to do whatever she wants with boys. At 17, my parents had been actually encouraging me to go lose my virginity and fool around with girls. They figured it’s healthy to lose sexual tension as long as its with people of the same class and intelligence. I think sitting in between her and a guy she’s dating would make her mad, and she’s too old for that.

You have good intentions, but come on, chaperoning dates is for like 13 year olds at most. When I was 16 my parents gave me a late curfew and didn’t ask me what I was doing, and most of it was typical cute high school stuff, like smoking cigarettes with my friends or playing spin the bottle, sometimes we got our hands on some alcohol but we didn’t get drunk, we just wanted to try it. I turned out as an elitist, and my friends are mostly even more elitist than I am.

Only two of my friends are going to the local university like I am, both of them were on tight leashes in high school and partied too hard and dropped out of out-of-state schools, so that just shows me that kids need to have some freedom BEFORE they have freedom as adults in college. I go to the local university because of financial reasons (my dad got demoted right when I got my acceptance letters and I had to pick the local uni because they gave me a full ride)

I think youre being very overprotective of her. When she’s 18, which will happen before you know it, you better let her have a life. I don’t mean to sound like a dick, but if someone was chaperoning me at 17 I would have been very pissed off. Once she is of legal age, you shouldnt get in her way, and I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for you to be acting as her legal guardian today, given that you are not her parent and have a serious mental illness. Are you even her legal guardian, officially?

I know you want to protect her, but stifle and protect are two different things. She needs to grow psychologically, and intimacy is a physiological AND psychological need (people who know their intro to psych know this), its lower tier need, in the same category as food and water. Going without intimacy is unnatural and fighting nature, we’re hard wired to at least be making out and feeling each other at 16, and thats a conservative stance.

She’s almost an adult. Once she’s 18 she can do whatever she wants.

It really strikes me as your own insecurities manifesting in your concern for your sister. A 17 year old who is remarkably independent such as your sister knows how to say “no” and even “■■■■ off” to boys. I woudnt worry about her, she’s a tough kid, she wont get heartbroken after kissing a boy. I think you’re afraid that she will get her feelings hurt and that that in turn will upset you.